A couple of weeks ago, I read a devotion about how we need to be who God created us to be (http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/be-who-god-created-you-to-be/). The writer talks about how we should do what God created us to do. It is a part of us, and it should come naturally. It shouldn't exhaust us. It might be hard, but it should also come naturally. She writes (reflecting on Job 37:5-6) "So God says to the snow, "Fall on the earth." That's it. Just do one thing. Just fall. And then He says to the rain shower, "Be a mighty downpour." Essentially, He's saying: Just do the thing I've actually created you to do. You're rain.... so rain. You're snow... so snow".
It got me to thinking about what God created ME to do. As you know, I am leaving Madison in April and going back home. For good, this time. My time on staff with YWAM Madison was never going to be a long-term thing; it was just temporary. I felt God calling me to come and start this preschool, but I never felt like it was my role to continue in that for a long time. I felt called to start it and then pass it on to someone else.
So what, then, am I called to do next? I'm about to head into a time where I don't know what I will be doing. I don't know exactly what the next steps will look like. I have a few ideas about what I feel God is calling me to do with my life, but I don't know how that looks practically in the now.
The author says to "Think about your adolescent self, your child self, the "you" you've always been. God imprinted a sacred, beautiful collection of passions and capacities right onto your heart. What do you love? What does your passion bubble over for?"
When I look back on my life, I can see a few things that remained strong through all times. Things that when I was a child I still have passions for. Like orphans. Ever since I was a little kid, I had a heart for orphans. I always wanted to go help in an orphanage. A few times at Christmas, we would each pick something from the World Vision list of things (such as a goat for a family), and I would always pick the one that helped the orphan. That's the whole reason I ended up in YWAM. I was looking into volunteering at an orphanage, and I ended up in the Children At Risk DTS. Because those are the people who have always been on my heart! (And by the way, I did end up working at an orphanage while on outreach).
Another thing I always wanted to do was be a missionary. I remember being eleven or twelve years old, and I was having my quiet time. It was when I really accepted Jesus. I told Him how much I love Him and that I would do anything for Him. I told Him I would be a missionary for Him, I wanted to do that, and I felt pulled to do that. And now here I am. I'm not a missionary in the sense of living in a third world country telling people about Jesus, but I am a missionary. I am living in a foreign country (albeit America) teaching people about Jesus (the children of my preschool). I have gone evangelizing and helping the poor in other countries. I AM a missionary.
So it is these things that I know are my passions, and that I know will continue to be a part of my life. How, I might not know yet, but I know that they will continue to be themes in my life, just as they have already.
Besides, I might not know exactly what my future looks like, but God does. And He is always faithful to tell me what is next. And He does it in His time, not mine. God is rarely early, but He is always on time!
Blessings,
Katie
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