Every Piece of Me

As I mentioned in my last post, I am now writing reviews for books that I receive for free in return for my honest review. I have just finished reading a book called Every Piece of Me by Jerusha Clark. According to the cover, this book will help with “shattering toxic beliefs and discovering the real you”. Over the course of the book, Jerusha explores 7 “I am: statements that Jesus said, and reflects on what that means for us as his daughters.

While I did enjoy this book, I had a hard time focusing while I was reading it. Did it change my life? No. Did I learn things? Yes. There were several times when I got out my highlighter to mark a section that really stood out to me. I don’t regret reading this book, even if it took me awhile to get through it.

Really, I think that this book would be better suited to read as a Bible study sort of thing, where you read the chapter and then discuss it with other women. The author includes discussion/reflection questions and recommended reading following each chapter. If you have a group of women looking to have a Bible study of some sort, I would say that this is an excellent book to consider. It was just hard for me to focus and get all that the book offered just reading it alone.

The main thing that I liked about this book is how it make me think more about my life/myself and how I think about things. At one point, the author says “He laid down his life so you wouldn’t have to run ragged. He died so that you could be free of endless pressures to perform” (Every Piece of Me, pg. 116). So often, women feel that they need to be perfect, and we strive to present ourselves that way. But in Jesus, we can embrace every broken part of ourselves, and that is truly an amazing thing. I’m also the kind of person who often has a hard time saying no, especially to church things. I mean, aren’t I being a selfish person if I say no to helping out somewhere that needs help? I’m being a pretty bad Christian then, right? This was my mindset for years and years, but recently I’ve started to learn that it is ok to say no sometimes. I don’t need to fill every need in my church; God doesn’t ask me to do that. “No” is a word that I have been learning isn’t a BAD word, and this book again helped me to grow in that area of my life.

So yeah, I guess I would say that if you’re looking for growth in your life, this is a book that will probably help give you insight into some area of your life that God wants to work with you on. I hope you enjoy it!

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.

Book Review: The Way of Hope

Hey guys! 
I have recently joined a program where they send me books to read, and I review them. I’ve done this in the past, but with a different company.
So for September, for the first time ever, I didn’t choose a novel. Instead, I chose a book titled “The Way of Hope” by Melissa Fisher. Here’s the synopsis from the back of the book:
“’Am I welcome here?’ It's the most challenging question churches face today. With a history of condemning people for their sexual temptations, desires, or orientations, many churches and Christians in an attempt to right that wrong have simply adopted the world's more indulgent view. What if the church could show up in a different way? With deep understanding born from her own painful experiences, Melissa shows that somewhere between the extremes of condemning and condoning is the way of Jesus, a way marked with courage, compassion, and hope. The Way of Hope aims to equip the church to make a positive impact in the lives of those hurting from their relational or sexual differences. It aims to inspire everyone, regardless of sexual identity or gender orientation, toward a relationship with Jesus, who wants to offer us all love and hope greater than anything we've ever known.”
As soon as I read that, I was intrigued. I wanted to read the book. Homosexuality is something that is so common and acceptable in our world today, and it’s something that the church is viewed as being judgemental and condemning about. I wanted to know what Melissa Fisher had to say.
From the beginning, I enjoyed the book. Melissa told her own story of same-sex attraction, but rather than giving it to us all at once, she slowly shares how she went from a little girl growing up in a Christian home to being a woman married to another woman, completely apart from God. She explains what her mindset was as a child, and how that affected her throughout her entire life. She told us what she had once believed, and what she believes now. She vulnerably shares her incredibly hard journey. 
There were a lot of lessons learned in Melissa’s life, and she willingly shares them with us in her book. Near the end, she talks about how it is now, living beyond the same-sex lifestyle. She says “You must fight through and not believe the lies, then do the more work of believing the truth- that his love alone is enough… I can remain single the rest of my life and be more blessed and more loved than by lying next to any human being.” (The Way of Hope, pg 196)
His love alone is enough. That’s a truth that is supposed to be fundamental to Christians, yet it can be such a hard thing to truly believe. As Melissa says, whether gay or straight, we all want to be loved by people. But God’s love alone should be enough. Melissa continues on to say that “seeking his presence helps me feel the love and joy my soul has always hungered for. No gay or straight relationship has ever brought anything close to that.” (The Way of Hope, pg. 196)
While I don’t struggle with same-sex desires, nor do I have any family members or close friends who do, I am still glad that I read this book. It has insights and wisdom that anyone can benefit from. I definitely enjoyed reading The Way of Hope!

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.

2016

     Well, we made it, guys. Here we are, on the last day of 2016. Tonight, people will be partying and celebrating with family and friends as we usher in the new year.
     To be honest, new years has never been my favourite holiday. I just don't see the appeal in staying up until midnight just to say "Happy new year!" and then go to bed. I very much enjoy sleep, so I'd be 100% ok with skipping the festivities and hitting the sack at 10 o'clock!
     However, new years is a really good time to reflect on the year that has passed, and to look forward to a new year. 2016 has been a good year for me. It started with me living in Madison, running the preschool (man, I miss those children!), and it is ending with me back home, working at the greenhouse. It has been a year with the good and the bad -like every year, I suppose. My Opa passed away in February, and I had to move away from a really great community (and roommate- oh how I miss Kenzie!). I grew in my relationship with God and my brother got married (and I therefore finally have a sister!). All in all, it was a good year.
     Back in January, I sat down and asked God what 2016 held for Him and I. Looking back on that list, it's cool to reflect on how I can see each item and how God was faithful to what He said. For example, one of the things was "Learning how to grow with God independently, without having classes and YWAM community." 
     This was a big one for me. Growing up, I had a quiet time every morning after breakfast; it was part of my schooling, really. But as I got older, quiet times grew harder to have. I would skip them more then I'd have them. Then I went to DTS and quiet times were scheduled into our daily schedule. This was a time of great growth for me, and my relationship with God definitely grew because of it.
     Then I went back home after DTS and my quiet times basically stopped again. When I returned on staff and was living with the DTS, I again started to grow in my relationship with God because not only did I have quiet times in my schedule again, but I also was attending DTS classes again. Learning how to grow in my relationship with God independently was something that I had no idea how to do.
     I can't say that I have a "quiet time" every day, but I definitely talk to God every day. My job offers many opportunities to spend time with God while I'm working alone. And while I still have a lot of room to grow in this area, I definitely can see how far I have come in the past year. I am able to sit down and read the Bible and really learn from it, without having someone there to tell me what it means. 
     Another item on the list was "Grow in confidence". I totally can see this in myself this year. I've never been the most confident person. I'd always second guess myself. I do this so less often now! God has definitely given me a confidence about who I am and who He is. Because I know my identity as His daughter, I am able to stand firm in that. One area where I really see this most is at youth group. God asked me to be a youth leader at my church this year, so of course I listened and am doing that. To be honest, teenagers kinda scare me and the are definitely not my favourite age to be around. But God has given me the confidence to be a youth leader and to stand firm in the things I believe. It's been cool to see!
     On the list of things God told me would happen during 2016, it also said "Searching". This is so true! After coming back from Madison, I was searching for who I am, for my worth, for what God wanted me to do next. I've spent a lot of time this year searching, and God has given me a lot of answers -although definitely not all! I've made discoveries about myself and about God and it's been pretty terrific!
     So yeah, 2016 has been a year of growth for me, and a year where I have really seen God's faithfulness. It's been a year where I have really put my trust in God, and He has not failed me. I'm looking forward to this coming year, and seeing what adventures and lessons God has for me in the next 365 days!
     Blessings,
          Katie

God is Faithful

    Being back in Madison for this week, I have naturally have had many (terrific) memories coming to me. Yesterday, I spent hours with a friend from my DTS, and over the course of our time together, we laughed and remembered the good times we had back when we were DTS students living in the TC. We remembered the time that some friends put chickens in our rooms in the middle of the night. We remembered planning escape routes for running away from hard talks (let's just say that we weren't the best at being vulnerable, and while I still have a hard time with it, I definitely have grown in vulnerability over the course of the past couple years!). We remembered racing each other to try and get our favourite spot in the classroom. Rachel and I have lots of good memories of our times in DTS, both together and with others. 

     As we were talking about outreach, I recalled how when I went to DTS, I was sure that I would end up going to India for outreach. I knew that Madison often sends teams there, but there was no reason for me to assume that that was where I would be going. However, my logic behind that assumption was that I really did NOT want to go, thus I would probably end up having to go.

     As I said this to Rachel, I realized something: that was my view of God back then. In my mind, He would send me to the places that I did not want to go to, and He would make me do the things that I really didn't want to do. My idea of who God is was so skewed! How was it that I thought that God's character was so... so not nice? How could I think that my God was a God who would use his power and authority to make people do things that they don't want to do? How did I have such a messed up idea of the character of God? And how did I forget that I once thought that?

     Reminiscing about my DTS, I remember how it was a season where God really focused on teaching me how much He LOVES me. He loves me simply for who I am. I had thought that I knew that, going into DTS, but during those six months, I really learned how deep His love for me goes. And I thought that was so cool and awesome and amazing.

     Now, looking back on those lessons that God taught and showed me, I see that it was about so much more than God assuring me that He loves me beyond measure. I mean, yeah, He wants me to know that and it was something I needed to really understand, but it was about more than me knowing God's love. It was about changing my whole view of God. Without me even realizing it, God showed me -through focusing on His love for me- how deeply wrong I was in my view of Him. He showed me how different His character is from what I had thought. By stressing His love for me, He showed me who He really is, and how GOOD He is. It was the stepping stone for me learning how to truly trust God, which was something that He really focused on last fall. 

     The lessons I learned in DTS were so much more than I thought they were. They went so much deeper than me simply being a beloved daughter of the King. God used that time as a foundation for the lessons I have been learning over the year and a half since I graduated from my DTS. And it wouldn't surprise me at all if the lessons that I learned during my DTS will continue to be a part of the lessons I will learn in the future. 

     God is faithful, and He is so committed to me -and you! When He says something, He means it. But more than that, when He speaks to us about things and reveals things to us, it goes beyond the current time and place. It goes beyond that moment! 

     Our God is truly amazing. He is incredible. I'm in awe of Him, I truly am! DTS was two years ago, and I am still having revelations and insights from that time! I am still learning from things that were said or taught to me during that season of my life. God knows me so well that He knows when to teach me certain things, and when to reveal things to me.

     God, you are a good, good Father. You are an amazing, wonderful, loving, powerful, gentle, and kind God. You... there are simply not words that can describe You, no words that can truly show how amazing you are!

     Blessings,

          Katie

On Sunday, Kenzie and I went on a hike north of Madison -so beautiful!

During our hike we left the trail fairly quickly and just followed the creek, clambering over rocks and crisscrossing the creek too many times to count. But neither of us fell in, yay!

Rachel and I attempted to take a picture at the end of our visit

When I first arrived in Madison on Friday night, Kenzie had placed a small Canadian flag on my bed in welcome -awwwww :) Then she pretty much just passed on halfway on her bed, halfway on mine. Soooo pretty much a normal day in our lives!

Friday evening Kenzie and I were trying to decide between seeing people and chasing the sunset. We decided on chasing the sunset, but as we were driving down the road, one of our friends spotted me in the car and ran into the street to stop us. And so we ended up socializing for awhile -I had a lot of people to say hi to!- before sneaking off to chase our sunset. It was almost done by the time we got through the mental institution to the lake, but was still beautiful!

I'm Back!

     Wow, it has been awhile! And now here I am, sitting in Cool Beans, drinking a Mocha Slide, while typing up a blog post... just like the old times, except today is Tuesday and not Wednesday, which was my normal Cool-Beans-and-blog day!
     Yes, I am back in Madison, but only for a visit. I arrived on Friday evening, and I will be heading home again on Sunday morning. I'm only here for just over a week, but it is so so so so so good to be 'home'. So good to see everyone again! Kenzie and I have been having quite a lot of fun, being reunited and sharing a room again! She had yet to remove my mattress from her bedroom, so that made for an easy set-up of my old spot on the floor! :)
     The weekend was filled with laughter and fun, and ice cream, of course. I plan on going to the new kindergarten someday this week, to see my old preschoolers. I got to see Micah on Saturday night, when I went over to his house to deliver a few Canadian treats for his parents -and he ended up tackling me for about half an hour. Just like the old times. It was great! I miss that kid so much! At one point, I ended up going downstairs to visit with my friends who live in the basement apartment, and Micah said "But, you're going to come back, right T? Come back before you leave!"
     Oh Micah James <3 He is going to be a big brother come December, and I am so excited! Even though I won't be here...
     Yesterday, Kenzie took the day off of work, so we went to the TC, the place where DTSes are run, to join the DTS for worship. I can't believe that this is the second fall DTS since my own! Crazy how fast time goes! It was amazing to be able to worship with a DTS again -those are always great times!- and after that, Kenz and I sat in on the first little bit of class.
     While sitting in that class, God really showed me how far I have come since the two years ago that I first stepped foot in YWAM Madison. I vividly remember back when I sat in that classroom as a student, soaking in the teachings. God has taught me so much in the past two years, and I have grown so much in my relationship with Him. Often, I don't feel like I have grown very much, like I don't really know much of anything about God. But during those fifteen minutes in class yesterday, God not only confirmed to me where He has asked me to be right now, but he also showed me that I have indeed grown so much! I still have so much to learn, but I'm definitely not in the same place that I was a couple years ago.
     Speaking of that, I have a totally awesome story of God's faithfulness to tell you, but I'll save that for another day :) Once it is official.
     So I guess that's it for now! I've gotta go enjoy Madison while I still can!
     Blessings,
          Katie

Where I Am Now

     I've been home for just over two weeks now, and I realized that I have not even updated this blog to let you all know that I am back in Canada safe and sound!
     It seems crazy that it has only been two weeks. Seriously. I feel like I have been home for forever. I feel like Madison was eons ago, yet at the same time, it feels like I just left (and really, I did). Kenzie and I were talking and saying how that first weeks just dragged on and on and on.
     While it is great being home, and seeing my family and friends here, I really really miss Madison. I miss my YWAM Madison community. I miss my roommate. I miss my children. I miss preschool. I miss America.
     My time is now occupied by working at the greenhouse. I work six days a week, which makes for a busy life, yet at the same time, I am still growing in my relationship with God. That won't ever stop! One thing I really love about working at the greenhouse is the conversations that I am able to have with people. Some of my good friends work with me, and I have had some really great conversations about God with them over these past few weeks. Since I'm so used to being in a Christian community, and talking about God, it is awesome to have these people who I can continue that with. :)
     So that's my next step- returning to the greenhouse, working there for the summer. I know what God has asked of me, and I know that it will take a lot of trust and constant communication with Him to do it, but if there is one thing that I have learned over my eight months on staff with YWAM Madison, it is that God is completely, utterly, and absolutely trustworthy, and He is always faithful.
     Tonight, during my quiet time, I pulled out a letter that I wrote at the beginning of my time on staff. I had forgotten about it until now, and so I read it and spent time with God, just reflecting over the seven months of preschool. A few of the questions I had written to ask God included "How were lives changed?", "How and where did I see God's faithfulness?", and "What have I learned in my time on staff with YWAM Madison, and through the preschool?"
     It was really great to reflect on these questions and see that God indeed answered them. The lives of those children were changed. MY life was changed. I saw God's faithfulness in SO many ways, just one being the provision for preschool and the continuation of it. And I learned to much about trusting God -this really was a whole season for that lesson!- not to mention I learned even more about His love for me, and His trust in ME (crazy thought!), and much, much, much more!
     So now here I am, away from all my life was for the past eight-nine months. I'm away from YWAM Madison, away from my seven wonderfully amazing preschoolers, away from my hilarious roommate (and one of my closest friends), away from all that. Yet God is still with me, and He is still teaching me things, and He is still showing Himself to be faithful, to be trustworthy, and to be good.
     I can't wait to take my next steps with God (no matter how scary they are!)
     Blessings,
          Katie

This. Just this. It's SO TRUE!!

One upside of starting work at 7am is that when I leave the house, the sun is just rising. And it is BEAUTIFUL!

My preschooler's parents went together and bought me a travel mug with pictures of my kids on it :) It came in the mail last week!

My last Madison sunset. I miss those :(

Oh Kenzie. She snuck a note into my bag when I left. So I got home and was unpacking when I found this envelop. I was like "Awwww Kenz is so sweet!" Then I opened it X) I MISS my dear, dear roomie! Thankfully we can -and definitely do- text! :)

Goodbye

     On September 15, 2015, I walked into the freshly prepared preschool room, nervous but (kind of) ready to greet the seven students I would be spending the next several months with. Over the time since then, I have had the honour of teaching these kids, praying with them, laughing with them, and getting to know each one. These seven kids are each so special and I know that God is going to take them to some amazing places as they continue their lives. I'm blessed to have spent the past several months with them, and I thank God for entrusting this job to me. I love them, and today I said goodbye to them as we had our final preschool class. I miss them already!

     On Wednesday, at staff meeting, the leaders prayed for me as I depart, but my kid's parents also surprised me with the CUTEST video of the kids, and they are giving me a travel mug with photos from our class on it. However, since I'm the one who has taken all the pictures, they decided to send PD's wife, Amy into our class yesterday so that we could get some photos with me in it. That made for the perfect opportunity for a class photo! It was the perfect day, since it was Judah's day to be there, and all the kids were there :) So these are my goofballs! I love them! I can't stand goodbyes, but today, I had to say so many, to some pretty precious people! :(

     Tomorrow, I pack up and then on Sunday, I head back home.

     Blessings,

          Katie