Book Review: When Twilight Breaks

      Another book that I received recently to review is called When Twilight Breaks by Sarah Sundin. This one is set at the beginning of WWII, the story of an American journalist named Evelyn who is a foreign correspondent in Germany. During her time there, she meets professor Peter Lang, another American who is working on his PhD in German. Peter, initially, is impressed by the Nazi party and their ability to maintain order and a prosperous, orderly society, while Evelyn sees the horror that it would bring about. It doesn't take long, however, for Peter's views of the Nazis to drastically change. Evelyn and Peter strike up a friendship, and Peter uses his connections to the Nazi party to feed her information. Together, they find themselves in danger as the world finds itself on the brink of a war.

     This novel was engaging and definitely had a way of keeping you reading. It was interesting reading a WWII story that happens in Germany itself, and at the beginning, before the war officially begins. Was the story realistic? Probably not. But the author draws you in and makes you hope for the best for the characters that you meet. She wrote a good story, one that keeps you reading. If you enjoy novels based in historic times, specifically WWII, you'll enjoy this book!

     *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Our Story Part Five: "Just Friends"

      When Raymond got in that van and drove away from my church in the early, early morning of March 16, 2019, I didn't expect to ever hear from him again.

     How delightfully wrong I was.

     I texted him some jokey thing about making sure that they actually arrived back in Edmonton, to which he responded. And that was the beginning of a text chain that, honestly, never ended. We'd text every day. It started as just a text or two, once or twice a day. Eventually, that turned into three or four texts, and so on. At on point, we were texting each other 20+ messages a day, not to mention 20+ messages on Instagram and Facebook each. 

     At the beginning, though, it was just a few texts. Every time I saw a message from him, I'd smile. It very quickly became the highlight of my days. Everything changed, though, a couple weeks after we met. I was at work, on a Friday, sticking cuttings. During this time, I'd often pray and reflect on things. This particular day, I was praying for Raymond, and I felt God tell me to stop communication for a week.

     "A whole week?!" I thought, "I can't! That's too long! That's too hard!" Which, honestly, weirded me out because I had JUST met this guy a couple weeks before, and already the thought of going a whole week without communicating with him felt impossibly hard. I didn't want to.

     "Do you trust me?" I felt God ask.

     "Of course!" I said.

     "Then let him go."

     And so it went all afternoon. God continually asking me to trust Him, and asking me to let Raymond go.

     And so I did (very reluctantly). That night, I messaged Raymond and told him that from the next day until the following Saturday, he would not be hearing from me. I explained how hard it was for me, but that I felt God asking me to do that. (He later told me that when he received those texts, his heart sank and he immediately started to pray. And that God gave him an incredible peace about it).

     And thus began what we now refer to as "Ghost Week". 

     Ghost week was HARD. Which again, weirded me out because I had just met Raymond. Just a month earlier, I had never even heard of the guy. On Monday night, I got together with Jacob to plan a service for which the Serve team was leading. The planning was done very quickly, after which Jacob turned to me and said "We need to talk." And talk we did, which I mentioned in the Twin Time post. This was, though, the first time I actually acknowledged that I liked Raymond. 

     On Friday night, the last night of Ghost Week, we played the song Goodness of God at youth group. After, I went home and played it again, and had such a good, good time with God. It was the end of Ghost Week, but it was also probably the most powerful time of it. It had spent the whole week just wishing I could talk to Raymond again, and I felt like this was the night where I truly surrendered him and the situation to God.

     Saturday, I could finally talk to Raymond again. I was afraid that he would have enjoyed the time away from me, and realize that he didn't want to continue this friendship. So I texted him on my break, saying "Hey, it's Katie. You know, that random girl from Ontario. Don't know if you remember me." Raymond responded almost immediately, saying "Katie.... hmmmm, sounds familiar. Aren't you that crazy girl?" Or something like that.

     And just like that, Ghost Week was behind us. 

    It wasn't long after that that Raymond suggested a phone call. And so me, the person who hates phones and does everything possible to avoid calls, started talking on the phone every Sunday night. The first call was our shortest- and it was 3 1/2 hours long. For the next few months, we'd talk on the phone every Sunday night, to the point where we were talking for 8 hours. I wasn't getting to bed until 2:30 in the morning, and I'd have to get up for work at 6. I remember on Monday morning, I was yawning while putting UPCs on pot covers, and my boss asked why I was so tired. "I didn't get to bed until 2," I told him. He looked at me in surprise, "YOU. Didn't got to bed until 2?! Why!?" I responded that I was on the phone, to which he literally looked at me with his mouth open in shock. I think that's when he knew that something was up.

     In June of 2019, I went to Edmonton. It was not, however, to visit Raymond. See, my cousin and best friend, Rachel (Jacob's sister) lives here, and she needed to have her wisdom teeth removed. The October before, she was supposed to have it done and I was going to come out and be her "responsible adult" to drive her home, but she ended up postponing it. Perfect timing for me! So I got to see Raymond again. I arrived on Saturday, and on Sunday, Rachel and I went over to Raymond's house and had a bbq with him and his friends. I also met his family that week, but ultimately I was there for Rebecca and so spent most of my time with her (she was also helping me to know boundaries).

     All this time, Raymond and I were incredibly close. He'd become my best friend, and me his. But friends was all we were, all we could be. 

    At that time.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Book Review: The Way It Should Be

      I love reading, and getting free books in exchange for my honest review is, honestly, amazing. This one, however, took me awhile, because right as I received it, I found a job. Moving from unemployment to full time, physical labour at a greenhouse was exhausting.

     But I did it! I read the book! This one was called The Way It Should Be by Christina Suzann Nelson. The basic premise of this book is newly married Zara suddenly finds herself taking custody of her estranged twin sister's two young children, children she hadn't even known existed before now. Zara's twin, Eve, is wrapped up in a life of drugs and poverty, but she finds support in the form of a woman named Tiff. The story revolves around these three women and the brokenness of this world. It addresses addiction and the circumstances that can either lead to it or keep you in it. 

     Overall, this was a good read. It is definitely slow paced, so if you prefer action-packed novels, this would not be the book for you. The Way It Should Be is the type of book that can bring a lot of reflection, especially on the brokenness of this world. Addiction is a hard thing to address, yet it is a very major part of our times. The author addressed it, in my opinion, quite well.

      *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Book Review: The Powerful Purpose of Introverts

      In late November, I received a book in the mail entitled The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs YOU to be YOU by Holley Gerth. Being an introvert, I was pretty excited to read this book, and it didn't disappoint. It really helped me to understand myself more. As someone who is currently unemployed and looking for a job, I found it actually really helped me with realizing what kind of jobs I should be looking for, based on my social limits. 

     The back of the book states this: "Introverts make up half the population, yet most people still don't truly understand what it means to be one. In this eye-opening book, Holley Gerth shares everything you need to know, from brain science to the psychological, relational, and spiritual aspects of being an introvert. She also reveals exactly what will help you beat your struggles and maximize your strengths so you can live with clarity, courage, and confidence in a world that needs what only you can give."

     From the beginning, I found this book interesting and definitely helped me to understand myself more. At the end of the first chapter, Holley says "Who we are comes with potential struggles and strengths.... ...What if a struggle is just the other end of a strength?... ...Growth happens not by changing who we are but by learning how to move away from struggles and toward our strengths." 

     The book is filled with facts and research about the inner workings of our brains and such. It was so interesting to read about the physical differences in the brains of introverts and extroverts. Holley also included tips on things like what foods are better for an introverted brain. The entire book was not just a book about introverts and understanding them, but it also included many introspective times and 'activities' to help understand yourself personally, and how to best embrace your introverted-ness while also thriving in this world and what God has called you to.

     If you're an introvert looking to understand yourself better, or an extrovert who struggles to understand your significant other, child, friend, etc, I encourage you to give this book a read! It could help you in small ways, but it could also have a major, lasting impact!

 *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Our Story Part Four: Twin Time

      Now that Serve is over and Raymond is back in Edmonton, let's get back to Jacob and I. All of a sudden, our time together was over. We still had our Friday night youth group together, but we no longer had to spend almost every free moment together.

     That did not, however, stop us from hanging out and getting even closer. Because after Serve came a time we now call Twin Time.

     On a Monday evening shortly after Serve, Jacob and I got together to plan for a final service for our worship team. We somehow had it all planned and ready in twenty minutes -which, trust me, is not the norm!- and then he turned to me and said "So.... want to talk?"

     He started. He talked about how he really really liked our friend, mutual Young Adults leader (oh yeah, did I mention that Jacob, Victoria, and our friend Ericka had started a young adults group, and Jacob and I thus had that together, as well), Ericka. The thing was, the past May, Jacob had made a promise to God that he would not date for one year. Now, though, he was at the point where he liked Ericka so very much, and it was getting harder and harder not to say anything.

     Then it was my turn. I talked about how drawn I was to Raymond, and how I so enjoyed talking to him and I definitely liked him. And this happened to be during "Ghost Week" (I'll talk more about that later, but basically I was currently on day 3 of not communicating with Raymond for a week), so I also talked about how hard it was to not message Raymond, and how I was constantly wanting to tell him things, but how weird it was because we had JUST MET! 

     This conversation was the launch pad for Twin Time. For the next month and a half, both Jacob and I experienced deep, hardcore lessons from God, and delightfully, God was teaching us the same things. Probably weekly, Jacob and I would get together just to talk about all that God was doing in our lives, and through that He taught us even more. It got to the point where we would be listening to a lesson at youth group, or just sitting in church listening to a sermon when we would hear something, look at each other, and start laughing because of what was said -something that inevitably related to the lessons we were personally learning. I remember one specific time, we had a weekend young adult retreat at a cottage up north. On the last morning, I pulled out my Jesus Storybook Bible and started reading to everyone, out loud, from the beginning. I started the story of Abraham and Isaac, when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on an alter, and there was a line about trusting God (very much a theme for both Jacob and I during this time- and, I mean, always, but especially then!). Jacob was in the kitchen, washing the dishes (with Ericka, surprise surprise, she clearly liked him, too), and I read the line, looked towards him, and we both laughed uncontrollably while everyone else looked on in confusion. Jacob and I, by this point, could read each other's minds. 

     I know this is the story of me and Raymond, but during this really key point in my life, God really provided an important friend in Jacob. Because we were experiencing similar life experiences -liking someone, and not being able to act on it- and God lessons, it was a blessing to have him to talk to and trust with some of my deepest thoughts and emotions. This might sound like a strange kind of cousin relationship, but Jacob has always been more of a brother to me, and we were both incredibly blessed by each other during this time. Enough that I felt the need to write a whole post about it!

     As a quick side note, this was not the only time that Jacob, Ericka, Raymond, and I relationships were parallel. Jacob and Ericka started dating in June of that year (Raymond and I in July, spoilers), and got engaged this past March (a few months after Raymond and I did), after being in a long-distance relationship from September on. And to wrap it up, on August 8, three weeks before us, Jacob and Ericka got married, followed by a move across the country (to Nova Scotia, sadly, not Alberta like we did). So it's been pretty cool. We like to joke that we alternate in our life events- they started dating first, we got engaged first, and they got married first. So that means that Raymes and I have to have a baby first, to stick with the pattern (but that's actually probably likely, since Jacob is in his second year of law school). Jacob and Raymond also have a bro-mance that makes Ericka and I laugh and facepalm at the same time. 

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Three: SERVE

      Serve was quite the week. For the longest time, Jacob and I referred to it as "Last week". I'm so glad that it was not just last week, though, because that would mean I would still be in this place of limbo and confusion and honestly a really good place. It just is now in the past and I can't be mad about that!

     Even though I was on the Serve Host Team, I still had to work that week. Every day, I would get up at 6am as usually, and head to work. I'd spend my day working at my physical labour job in the greenhouse. By lunchtime, Jacob would have sent me his ideas for that night's worship session, which I would read and then spend the afternoon thinking about and praying over as I worked. After work, I would run out the back door to my boss's parent's house, where I would shower before dashing to my car and driving straight to church. Once at church, Jacob and I would meet in the sanctuary where his youngest sister, Arabella, would bring me a much-needed coffee. Jacob and I would talk and pray about the session that night, and make our final plans on the songs, readings, and such. My job after this was always to write out and photocopy the order of worship for each member of our team, so I would head down to the office.

     Monday was the Serve team's first day of working, and they all started to trickle back as I was photocopying the order of worship. The door they entered was right by the office, so I greeted them as they entered. Just as I finished, Raymond and his van-full of students arrived back, and I stopped to chat with some of the girls about their day. Raymond was there, as well, and we ended up chatting for awhile before I went back upstairs. 

     We ate dinner shortly afterwards, followed of course by the second worship session. The official evening ended with the worship team gathering as our small group to debrief and pray together. We did this every night, and it was such a precious time during the week. It's still a cherished memory of the Serve week!

     After small group, a few of us inevitably ended up gathered in the fellowship hall, chatting. And Raymond came upstairs. That first evening of talking, there was a group of us. Me, Jacob, a few members of the worship team, and a couple other members of the host team. We all talked and laughed and finally split to go home and to bed.

     And that became the routine of the week. Work, planning, talking to Raymond as he arrived back at church. Dinner, worship, and small group. And then, after the official part of the day was over, talking with Raymond, Jacob, and occasionally one or two others. It seemed that every evening, it was one less person and we talked longer and longer, until Thursday night it was just Jacob, Raymond and I talking. until one in the morning. Jacob fell asleep at one point, and when we woke him up to tell him to go to bed (he was sleeping at church all week), he insisted that we all head downstairs. Little did I know that all week, Jacob could sense a spark between the two of us, and he was intentionally chaperoning us. 

     Until Friday night.

     Friday was the last night of Serve. The Edmonton team was leaving for the airport at 3:30 in the morning. So after one final evening of worship, the whole worship team was invited to stay and play games and hang out with the Edmonton team. None of them were planning on going to bed that night, so it was an all-nighter of fun. 

     I'm not a game person. So although I participated in the first one, when everyone went upstairs to play "Battleship" in the sanctuary, I dipped out, heading to the prayer chairs, located in a dim corner of the fellowship hall. I walked, hoping that Raymond would follow so we could talk, and he did not disappoint. 

     We spent the rest of the night upstairs, talking. About everything and everything. Until 3 in the morning, when he had to go and pack up, we talked. Long after everyone else went back downstairs to play other games, we talked. Alone for the first time.

     At one point, Raymond asked me for my number, and he texted me so we could stay in contact. At the end of the night, he asked if we could hug. And we did, my head fitting perfectly under his chin. We went downstairs, had an awkward public goodbye with everyone, and we all went outside to our cars. Raymond and the rest of the Edmonton team piled into their vans and drove away.

     And just like that, the longest, most exhausting, thrilling, and amazing week of my life was over. And Raymond, the most intriguing, kind, sensitive guy I'd ever met, the man I was drawn to the entire week, was gone.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Two: Breakfast

      So, where was I? Hawaii, Serve opportunity, Jacob.... crazy times.... business..... and Serve. Alright. Got it.

     So January and February were a crazy time for both Jacob and I, and it was all leading up to the week of March 9- 16. March Break 2019. 

     It all started on Saturday, March 9, 2019. It was my first work Saturday of the year, so I was unable to meet at the church to set up and do the final preparations for the team arriving that evening. After work, however, for the first time, I raced straight to the church. About an hour later, the Serve team -a group of students from a high school in Edmonton, along with their teacher and 2 chaperones- arrived. They got set up, we ate dinner, and then Jacob and I gathered our worship team, named PP, to kick off our first worship session. I introduced everyone, we had our time of worship, and then we all split into small group time. The Edmonton team went downstairs, and Jacob and I gathered our worship team to have our own small group. We debriefed the session, during which a lot of us pointed out the mistakes which we made, but we followed that up with prayer and everyone went home. Saturday night was the first of two nights that I had to sleep at the church, so I retired to my room and went to bed.

     Sunday, March 10 dawned a sunny, warm day. Just kidding, I don't remember what the weather was like. What I DO remember, quite vividly, is standing upstairs before breakfast, talking to a fellow Host Team member and the female chaperone from the Edmonton team. As we chatted, a bearded man walked up and handed the female chaperone some papers. "Here are your shower passes," he told her, and immediately I thought "Ohhhhh, he's NOT a student!"

     The man then turned to me, holding out a hand (oh the days when we could shake hands!), "Hi, I'm Ray," he introduced himself. And just like that, without having any inkling of an idea, I had met my future husband.

     The four of us continued chatting until it was time for breakfast, and I ended up seated beside Raymond. As we ate, we talked about out mutual love of travelling, and were delighted to discover that each of us loved Venice in particular. I kept trying to make sure I was talking to the teen girls also at our table, but somehow would find myself back to talking to this Ray guy.

     It wasn't long into breakfast that Raymond casually, during the discussion about travelling Europe, said "We -my ex and I. I'm divorced- were...." I don't remember the whole sentence anymore, obviously, but I do remember immediately thinking "Divorced? Stay away from this one!" To be clear, I in no way was interested in him romantically, nor did it EVER enter my mind, while preparing for Serve and during Serve, that I would meet that Someone. It was just an automatic step back when he mentioned that he had an ex-wife.

     And that's how I met Raymond, my future husband. He introduced himself as Ray -which confused me for the longest time, cause I called him Ray but he didn't seem to respond to it very well, and all of his social media said Raymond. He was trying a thing. He figured he'd never see any of us again, so why not. :P

     After that breakfast, for the rest of the day and week, I was inexplicitly drawn to Raymond. I always took note of where he was. I would pay attention to him. I was always aware of him. It was weird. I was genuinely weirded out by it, at least at first. By the end of the week, we had talked to much that it wasn't so strange, but at the beginning, I didn't understand it. On Sunday, I noticed where he was during church. I watched him in the afternoon, when we played games in the school gym. I noticed when he entered the worship session. I always was aware of where this divorced man from Edmonton was.

     Raymond's first memory of me is from the night before, but I didn't see him until Sunday. And that was just the beginning of an amazing relationship that I am so thankful for. 

     Blessings,

          Katie