Two and a Half

Two and a half. 

That's how old our daughters are now. That's how long it has been since Raymond and I became parents. And man, have those two tiny, wriggly, sleepy newborns grown and changed! We have two toddlers now, and are in the throes of potty training. I don't spend my days lounging on a couch anymore, pregnant as all get out and feeling as big as an elephant. I'm too busy running after two very opinionated, stubborn, and joyful toddlers.

Joy and Grace arrived on a spring day in 2023. They stayed percolating until the date of their scheduled C-section, which came as a surprise to me since I fully expected them to make an early arrival into this world. Joy weighed 6.5lbs, and Grace 5.1lbs. A decent size for twins! They needed no NICU time, and we were able to take them home a couple of days later. Which was crazy. They just let us walk out of the hospital with these two tiny babies. We didn't know what we were doing! Really, we still don't.

My mom was amazing and came to stay with us for the first two months after the girls were born. I genuinely don't know how we would have survived if it weren't for her. Every early morning -I'm talking as early as 5am at one point- we would wheel the babies out to her in their bassinet, and she would sit with them in the living room while we went back to bed and got a solid 4 hours straight of sleep. My mom was the one who kept our household running -she worried about dishes and vacuuming and laundry and cleaning the bathrooms, while Raymond and I focused on keeping our two tiny humans alive.

Things are more settled now. We have a better grasp on how to be parents. It helps that our babies are no longer babies, but big girls who can be independent to an extent. Frustratingly so -they no longer allow me to pick their clothes for them, so goodbye cute coordinating outfits! Hello, animal pants with polka dot shirts, and bright pink pants with a bright pink shirt. They're potty training right now, so we're already almost out of the diaper stage.

We've also moved. In August of this year, we left our little duplex in Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta, and moved to a small town in Ontario. It was a long process but we love our new home and are settling in very well. Raymond's parents have already come to visit us which was lovely, and that happened because of Raymond's ordination. Because he is now officially officially a pastor!

So yeah. Here we are, living in Ontario (back home for me, sort of- about 2 hours from my parents). A pastoral family. And with two wonderful, amazing, funny, adorable (we aren't biased at all) two year olds. 

Book Review: What Happens Next

      Now that I'm pregnant and about to pop (or at least feel that way!), I've being doing a lot more reading. I finally got a library card for my "new" city (just 2 years after I moved here), and it has definitely been well used already! 

     However, this month, I also received a novel to review. This book is titled What Happens Next and is written by Christina Suzann Nelson. This book is about podcaster Faith Byrne, who agrees to spotlight the missing persons case of her childhood friend, Heather, on her podcast one summer. Dora Crane, the mother of Heather, has never moved on from the loss of her youngest child, and refuses to accept the possibility that her daughter is dead. Together, Faith and Dora make strides to come to terms with what happened all those years ago, and each starts their path to healing.

     I did enjoy this book, although it wasn't a particularly fast paced novel (not that there is anything wrong with that, I just generally prefer faster, high tension novels). There were, of course, the aspects that weren't very realistic, and it had a general predictability to it. The characters were just those -characters. I can't say I was particularly attached to any of them emotionally, but I did cry a bit near the end (I blame that on pregnancy hormones, though!). The book is written through the perspective of three people- Faith, Dora, and through flashbacks, you slowly learn what happened through 10 year old Heather's perspective. I generally found the Heather sections the most interesting, since that was where it was revealed what happened, although there were a few revealing snippets during the present day sections as well (ones that I predicted long before they happened).

     At the end of the day, I read this book in probably 2 or 3 days, although I never felt compelled to keep reading if I didn't have to. However, because I'm 7 months pregnant with twins, I have a lot of free time (having been ordered to do as little as possible), so reading it quickly was quite easy for me.

     If you like a light, easy, slightly predictable read, this one is for you!

      *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Life Changes

     2022 has been over for over a month now, and it was the year that we learned the news that would ultimately change our lives forever. Which will come to fruition in 2023, meaning that this year is going to come with a steep learning curve for us, and a heck of a lot of change.

     In August of 2022, we went to Ontario for a 2 week visit with my family, which was absolutely lovely. When we returned to Alberta, I found that I was constantly feeling sick, waking up once a night to use that bathroom, and, eventually, I started to really not like my daily cup of coffee. My lifeblood.

     So I took a pregnancy test on September 13, and sure enough, it came back positive. We were both thrilled, albeit slightly scared because we've never had a baby before. I've babysat more times than I can count -most weekends throughout high school and even college- and worked in a daycare. I went to school for Early Childhood Education. Yet I still don't feel prepared to have my very own little human to take care of!

     There were a flurry of doctor's appointments and blood tests to confirm the pregnancy, and then, a few days after my 30th birthday, we had our first ultrasound.

     I was nervous. My instinct has always been to expect the worst, that way if it isn't that, you'll be pleasantly surprised, and if it is, well, it hopefully won't be as crushing. Unhealthy, I know, but that's my default setting. So going into this ultrasound, I was prepared to hear the horrible words "There is no heartbeat."

     We got there, my bladder ready to explode, and the ultrasound began. Raymond was sitting in a chair near my feet, so he could see the screen while I couldn't.  About a minute or two into the ultrasound, the tech paused, turned the screen so that I could see it, and said "I know your husband can see and has probably figured it out, so I'm just going to put it out there before we continue." And she proceeded to show me not one, but TWO babies.

     Not quite the news that my brain had prepared my heart for! Twins. September 27, 2022 was the day that we found out that we were expecting twins, and that our lives were going to change even more than we thought!

     It took awhile for it to really sink in. I think for the first month after, Raymond and I would just look at each other, shake our heads with shock, and say "TWINS?!" multiple times a day. We were -are- going to jump into parenthood with not just one baby, but two at once.

     Since then it has been a whirlwind, though also time seems to crawl for me. Twin pregnancies are automatically considered higher risk, although the risk level depends on what type of twins they are (I've learned a lot about twin pregnancies, let me tell you!). The most common twin pregnancy, and the lowest on the risk scale, is di/di twins. This means that they each have their own placenta, and they each have their own amniotic sac. All fraternal twins are di/di, but they can also be identical. The next type of twin pregnancy is mono/di -also the next step up on the risk scale. This is the twin type that we are having. Mono/di twins share one placenta, but each have their own sac. Finally, there is the highest risk twin pregnancy- mono/mono. Here, the babies share not just a placenta, but also the amniotic sac.

     So because our twins are mono/di, we know that they are identical. And because we are having 2, we decided to find out the gender, and learned that we are going to be the parents of two girls! Because it's higher risk, we also are monitored much more closely than a single pregnancy. My doctor had me quit my job at the beginning of October, because he didn't want me doing physical work anymore. Ever since the end of November, we have had an ultrasound at least every other week -most of December was weekly because of a growth discrepancy between the babies that they wanted to keep an eye on, so we've now had at least 10 ultrasounds, plus 2 ultrasounds just specifically of their hearts. 

     Tomorrow, I will be 30 weeks pregnant. At our last ultrasound, Baby A was about 2 pounds, 11 ounces, while Baby B was about 2 pounds, 6 ounces, but that was almost 2 weeks ago, so they're probably each about 6oz bigger now. And at our OB appointment this week, she said that we need to be prepared for it to be Go Time literally any day- not that she necessarily expects them to come sooner, but twins are more likely to come early. And the absolute latest they will let them go is 37 weeks (which we hit on April 1). So anytime between now and the end of March, these girls could come. We're definitely hoping for the end of March! 

     So yeah, sometime in the next month and a half, our lives are going to change drastically (I can't believe we're already down to the last month and a half max!). They already have -especially mine, since I'm the one carrying these babies- but not nearly as much as it will change once the girls are out of me and in the world.

     We are still both slightly terrified, and delightfully excited.

     Life is crazy. So crazy. And God is so, so good.

The Greenhouse

      When I was thirteen years old, I got my first job. It was definitely not glamorous, nor, looking back, was it technically an official job since I got paid in cash. This job was picking strawberries (and, after strawberry season, picking raspberries and cutting garlic blooms. I remember smelling like garlic for a week!) at a local farm. In all honest, the employers were not great people -they would make us fill the pints way overflowing, sending us back out if it wasn't full enough for their liking, and then they'd take all the excess off and fill more quarts that they then didn't pay us for- but I got to work with my cousin and best friend Rachel, so it was fun. We liked feeling like grown ups, having a job, while still getting to hang out and have fun together. 

     After that summer, though, we both knew that we definitely did not want to go back there again the next year. We might have only been thirteen, but we knew enough that it wasn't exactly a good job. Thankfully, before the next summer was even close, we got hired on at a greenhouse owned by a family at our church. 

     We got our job at the greenhouse very, I'd say, accidentally. Our aunt was talking to the owner, T, and asked if they were looking for help, as she had 2 nieces looking for work. We were, in fact, NOT looking for work but hey, I guess Auntie B decided that we needed a job. T originally said no, but later "had a change of heart" and called me up to ask if we could come in the next day. See, T knew me fairly well because I had actually been her Sunday School helper for several years by that point.

     And that is how my greenhouse life started. Just like that.

     I'll be honest, I hated that job. It was fun at first -it was a job, it paid double what we had gotten at the strawberry farm, so we felt like millionaires, and we got to hang out while we worked. The work was seasonal, meaning that we worked Saturdays from January through May, and the occasional week in the summer. But it was enough that I never had to get another job during high school. After Rachel and I graduated from high school and started university, we ended up working at the greenhouse as our summer jobs. Mostly because it was the easy thing to do, since it was a guaranteed job. We never had to think about it or look for a job.

     Then we graduated, and I went off to YWAM. And came back to work in the greenhouse for one last year. Which ended up being much more than that -I worked there full time up until August 20, 2020.

     By the time I quit my job, I loved it. It wasn't perfect, but it was a place where I was completely comfortable, knowledgeable, and capable. I had my issues with the place, for sure -no workplace is perfect- but I loved the work, I loved the people, and I loved my position and responsibilities. I was management. I was trusted. I supervised, trained, and was often left in charge.

     I knew that leaving would be hard.

     I didn't realize HOW hard it would be.

     It's been a year and a half since I quit my job at the greenhouse -where I had worked for over thirteen years. And I still miss it so, so much. I worked at a greenhouse here in Alberta last spring, and they were a great place. They actually contacted me around Christmas time offering me a full time, salaried position as a grower, but I turned them down. Because the truth is, I hated every second of working there. It had nothing to do with them; they were lovely people, my co-workers were lovely, and they paid well. But it was too similar to my old greenhouse. Every day, while at work, I was reminded of everything I had left. Of everything I had lost. Of everything I missed so, so much. I honestly went through the month of April almost crying at work every single day. 

     It's getting better. I have a new job, now. It's part time, working for a greenhouse. But this time, I don't work AT the greenhouse. They're based in BC, and I'm their contact at a couple of stores here in the Edmonton area. I go in and take inventory, and I am there when the delivery comes in each week to put the new product out for sale. I clean up the plants. I'm working with plants, which I love, but in a very different capacity and environment than I did before. So it's good. It is different enough that it doesn't make me miss my first greenhouse.

     That doesn't mean that I don't miss my greenhouse. Because I do. So, so much. Distance has really opened my eyes more and more to the flaws and issues of my greenhouse, but I still love that place. I still love those people. I still miss it with a very deep ache.

     I had a job that I genuinely truly loved. And losing it sucks.

    Was marrying Raymond worth it? A hundred percent. But that doesn't mean that I don't wish it could be different. It doesn't mean it is always easy. It doesn't mean I don't miss my old life.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Just Words

      2022. How on earth did we get to 2022?

     I know, I know. It's old news, now. We are, after all, more than a month into this new year. It's still crazy, though.

     I mean, so much has happened in the last two years. And in my own life, the last three years have changed almost everything in my life.

     It was almost three years ago that I first met Raymond. That's it. It has just been three years. In those three years, since March of 2019, I've started the first romantic relationship I've ever been in. I got engaged. A global pandemic hit the earth. I got married. I quit my job, my volunteer work, everything, and moved across the country. I've established a life in Alberta. I've started a new job, started new volunteer work. 

     Three years ago, my life looked very, very different then it does now. So different. Yet, at the same time, there are things that are very much the same.

     God is still in control. God is still good. God is still faithful. I am still a broken sinner living in an incredibly broken world, one that desperately needs God.

     No matter how much change has happened -to someone who absolutely does not like change, I might add!- God is always consistent. And that is so, so good.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Book Review: The Divine Adventure

      My faith is something that is very important to me; I've been a Christian my whole life, but as I grew older, I actually took what I'd grown up learning to heart. I truly desire a relationship with God and to serve Him with my life. I want my words and actions to glorify Him.

     So every day, I begin by grabbing a cup of coffee and sitting on the couch, Bible in hand. Usually, it isn't long before I have a cat nestled either on my lap, at my feet, or curled up right beside me. I have a notebook in which I write things that I am thankful for, and I have my journal that I try to write in at least a few times a week. And I open my Bible and read. My goal for this year is to read the whole Bible in one year, and I'm making good progress in achieving that.

     The thing is, even though I desire a relationship with God and I seek to live my life for Him, I fail more than I succeed. As a result, I'm always looking for books, devotionals, and Bible studies that can help me. So when I saw that I could receive and read a book called The Divine Adventure by Rebecca Friedlander, I was excited.

     The Divine Adventure is a book that outlines some spiritual practices that are beneficial for followers of Jesus. Each chapter outlines a different spiritual practice, with the author outlining what it means/entails, some personal thoughts and anecdotes, and sometimes some historical and/or relevant facts about it. At the end of each chapter, the author has a "Your Turn" section, which consists of a few questions to ponder, journal about, or even discuss with others. The final section of each chapter is the "Spiritual Practice" section, where the author outlines some suggestions for how to live out this particular spiritual practice. 

     I quite enjoyed this book. I found it interesting and engaging, and helped me to think more about my faith and how to grow deeper in my personal faith walk. I'm appreciative of the author and her suggestions, wisdom, and insights. I would recommend for any Christian, new or years into their journey, to dive deeper into discipleship and to take new steps to grow in their faith.

           *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Book Review: Your Time Is Now

      I was excited for the opportunity to read a book by Jonathan Evans titled Your Time Is Now. I received it a week or two ago, and have since completed it. Your Time Is Now is a book about really living into God's calling in your life. The author, Jonathan, both reflects on his own life and journey, and dives deeper into the Bible and what it says.

     To start, this book was a quick and easy read for me, and seems very much to be aimed towards pre-teens or young teens. Just my opinion, that isn't something I know for sure. Jonathan makes some great points, and encourages readers to really dig into what God has for them, not letting fear stop them from living the life God has called them to. He challenges readers to say yes, to act, but also to wait when the Lord calls them to wait. Ultimately, he says, live life listening to God. When God says act, act. When God says wait, wait. Whatever God says, your response should be "Yes Lord!"

     At the same time, while I appreciate the conclusions that Jonathan came to, I have some hesitations about how he could to those conclusions. In my (unprofessional, just regular Christian) opinion, the author came to some conclusions about people in the Bible, and about evens and circumstances, that are purely speculative, and he paints them as a truth. To be fair, the one time I'm particularly thinking of he does say it is his opinion, but that is a brief statement followed continuing to explore the meaning of that opinion as though it was fact.

     Ultimately, if you want to read an easy read that makes you think about what God has for your life, go ahead an read this book! I would just encourage you to read it with discernment, which you should be doing with everything anyway. If you give it to a youth to read, make sure to talk to them about it. It is a good starting point for conversations, but I'd hesitate to recommend it with no follow up or discussion. Also keep in mind that the author is a former pro football player, and a current chaplain in the NFL, so he has a lot of sports references and analogies, which work but if you're like me and don't know or care about football, it can get kind of old.

     So there you have it. A book that can be used as a starting point, but one that I'd encourage discussion around!

      *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Lonely

     In June, my life changed again.

     No, nothing too crazy. But still a change, one that is hard. Up until now, my cousin and best friend, Rachel, lived here in Edmonton. It was such a blessing, having her live here for the past 4 years, because it allowed me to visit Raymond and also spend time with her. After we got married and I moved here, Rachel and I lived just 15 minutes away from each other. Growing up, we lived 5 minutes apart, and spent the majority of our time together, so living so close again was such a blessing! In spite of all the Covid restrictions, we were able to hang out at least once a week, since she lived alone and thus was allowed to be considered a part of our household. Every Saturday, Rachel would come over, bringing homemade sourdough English muffins, and we would watch the Great British Baking Show and bake something ourselves. When church was open, we would see each other there on Sundays. It was so good, having my best friend live so close again, but also just to have a good friend in this place where I knew hardly anyone else.

     Well, now, that time is over. In June, Rachel was transferred back to Ontario, and so Raymond and I helped her load up her car, and the three of us drove across the country together. We spent almost two weeks visiting my family, which was great (although we missed our little bug-a-boos, the two cats we adopted back in April!). We flew home at the end of the month, just before Alberta opened up from all Covid restrictions (YAY!)

     I knew it'd suck, having Rachel move away. And it definitely has. I have Raymond, of course, and his family. But I don't know his family very well. Because of the restrictions, we haven't been able to see them much. Not to mention he has six younger brothers -yes, SIX- and his family is loud and very overwhelming for me. Plus there's always some sort of drama, and I always feel slightly on edge, waiting for one of the trigger topics to come up. Now that Alberta has opened up again, we see them much more often, which is nice, but still. They're not people I know well and am comfortable around. I'm introverted. Large, loud groups exhaust me, especially when I don't know them well. So I'm getting there, but it is definitely a process. And of course, I also have Raymond's friends and their wives, but again, with Covid restrictions, it is hard to get together. Not to mention the whole they're-Raymond's-friends-and-I-don't-actually-know-them aspect.

     Our church has been a blessing throughout my time here, as we have joined the youth leadership team and thus gotten to know a few others, including one man who just got married. Him and his now-wife were in our Home Group as well, and so now that restrictions are gone, we are seeing them more, and having them over this week, actually, for a games night. It's nice because they are friends that we made together. They aren't RAYMOND'S friends, with me just kind of getting adopted in, but they're a friendship we can build together. Which has been nice, and helped ease the pain of Rachel being gone.

     But with Rachel suddenly gone, back in Ontario, I have become so, so lonely. I'm unemployed now, so I'm alone all day. Which is fine; again, I'm introverted and so am quite content being alone. But Raymond is not an introvert. He is, in fact, incredibly extroverted. So ever since the restrictions lifted, he's had something going on every single night. First it was pizza night with his family, then his cousin's birthday party. Then it was a hang out with a teen he mentors. The next night, we had his best friend and his wife over. Then Raymond had a games night at a game cafe. Then it was date night, and then a youth evening. Then it was a day spent with another friend couple, and then pizza night with his family again. Then, dinner with his grandparents, and then we had his parents and one brother over for dinner. It's quite literally something every night, apart from Date Night. Which is fine, I would never want to stop Raymond from being social, something that he has really, really missed during Covid. But at the same time, when he is off doing something in the evenings, when I'm not a part of it, I feel the crushing weight of Rachel's absence. I feel the reality of the fact that I moved across the country, to a place where I knew (essentially) no one, and just slotted into Raymond's life. He still has everything he had before, with the bonus of now having me here. But nothing else changed for him. He still has his family, his friends. His job, and his hobbies. For me, though, everything has changed. EVERYTHING. At least before, I had Rachel as a reminder of home, as a comfortable part of new life that was also part of my old life. And now I don't.

     So yeah, when I'm at home and Raymond is at work, it's fine. I'm not bothered by that. I keep myself busy. I don't allow myself to sleep in or nap or watch TV all day. But as soon as it's a time when Raymond should be home, if he is out doing something, I'm overwhelmed with loneliness. I miss Rachel. My best friend.

     Loneliness. It sucks.

     Yet ultimately, I am not alone. I've got Raymond, of course, who loves me and would easily give up his busy social schedule for me, if I asked him to (which I would never, ever ask of him!). But I've also got Jesus. He's there with me. He brought me here, and he's not going to just abandon me. 

     Thank you, Lord, for being in Alberta, too.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Book Review: A Habit Called Faith

      A couple months ago, I received a book entitled A Habit Called Faith by Jen Pollock Michel to read and review. It has taken me much, much longer than it should to read and review this one, but that is definitely not because the book has a lack of quality- it's actually quite insightful. It's just that this book isn't a novel or generic book- it is a 40 day guide through parts of Deuteronomy. You can't just sit down and read this book; you must also read the Bible alongside it. It's a devotional, not meant to be read quickly.

     The author, Jen Pollock Michel, takes you through eight weeks of scripture readings and meditations. In between each week, she highlights one person and their story. It's interesting to read about these people, names I wouldn't ever have heard otherwise, and their lives and journey with Christ. They aren't the "superheroes" of faith that we all know and have heard of, but they are simply regular people who strive to live a life that glorifies God. 

     The daily meditations themselves are quite well written and insightful. Usually stemming from some sort of personal anecdote, the author then goes on to discuss her thoughts and meditations on that day's passage. Every day ends with a reflection/discussion question, ones that I found helpful for me personally, as I am someone who likes to journal and reflect and explore deeper.

     All in all, if you're looking for a devotional, I'd encourage you to give this one a try. I find a good devotional can be hard to come by, so I know I always appreciate a good recommendation!

     *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Our Story Part Nine: It's Not Over

      So that's the story of how Raymond and I met, fell in love, and got married (all within a year and a half!). After the wedding and our honeymoon at a cottage, we spent a week in Ontario saying goodbye and finishing packing. We loaded most of my stuff on a truck, which would arrive in Alberta sometime in the next month, and finally, on Monday September 14, we loaded up my car and said goodbye to my family. And we started our long drive across the country.

    Which was actually a really nice drive! The halfway point between my parent's house and Raymond's house in Alberta was still in Ontario. It took us four days to do the drive, and on September 17 we pulled into our driveway here in Fort Saskatchewan.

     Getting married and moving across the country wasn't necessarily easy. I wasn't as homesick as I thought I would be, but it was still a lot of change. My parents were able to come visit in November, and we flew back to Ontario for a week at Christmastime. It was good.

     It wasn't until I found a job and started working, at a greenhouse here in Alberta, that I really struggled with the homesickness. I miss my old job so very, very much. It's been 2 months and I still do. It's getting better now, but for awhile there, every day I'd got to work and spend most of my day wanting to cry, wishing I was at MY greenhouse, not this one. It didn't help that my mom started working part time at my old greenhouse, and talked about it a lot. She didn't realize how painful it was for me to hear -it still is, and she still doesn't know.

     I miss Ontario. I miss my family, my friends, my church, my job. Yet I can't say I have any regrets, because I love Raymond. I don't regret marrying him, and if given the chance to re-live it, I'd make the same decisions. 

     So our story isn't over. It's really just begun. Raymond will be starting online classes in September, his first step into changing to a career in ministry. I'm going to love him and support him through it all, and we shall see where God leads us next.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Eight: A Very Covid Engagement

      Our engagement STARTED normal. I went dress shopping, picked out my wedding party, and starting looking into photographers and caterers. Since Raymond lived in Alberta, and the wedding would be in Ontario, the bulk of the wedding planning fell on me. I would have to be the one who would meet with people. Raymond thankfully did all he could from Alberta, dealing with our tent rental, through whom we were also renting all the tables and dishes and everything else. Because I knew that come March, I'd be working 6 days a week, I wanted to get all the major things out of the way before then. We set our wedding date for August 29, and off we went.

     By the end of February, I'd booked a caterer, a florist, and photographer. We had the church booked, as well as all the rentals for the reception, which would be held in a tent in my aunt and uncle's backyard. Things seemed to be going well.

     And then March of 2020 hit.

     We all know what THAT entailed.

     I wasn't worried about our wedding when Covid first hit. After all, it was March. The wedding was still half a year away! It would be fine!

     Let me tell you, though, planning a wedding during Covid is a very interesting thing. Constant changes, constant guessing. Never knowing if restrictions would change. It was hard to plan! I was just thankful that I had done most of the major things before Covid hit. We were more in a place of waiting to see, rather than trying to book and plan WHILE waiting, as my cousin Jacob and his fiancee Ericka were.

     In the end, we hit the sweet spot of the pandemic, if you can call any part of it sweet. We got married at the end of the summer, in between the first and second waves. Of the entire pandemic, this was when the restrictions were the more open. Two weeks after our wedding day, Ontario shut back down, and it hasn't really opened up to that extent since. 

     We got married on August 29, 2020. Because of the pandemic, we moved our wedding from the church to being outside, in my aunt and uncle's backyard. We were allowed to have 100 people, which actually was just right for me (we had to cut some people, but everyone who truly mattered to us could come!). We limited our reception to just 70, mostly family members. It was a beautiful day -very windy, but that doesn't matter- and ultimately, all that mattered was that we got married!

     Covid caused us to be flexible and reassess what was important. It wasn't fun, but it didn't matter.

     And on August 29, 2020, I became Raymond's wife.

     Blessings,

          Katie

     

Our Story Part Seven: Will You Marry Me?

      In December, we waited in anticipation for the arrival of Boxing Day. Because December 26 was the day that Raymond would fly to Ontario for our Christmas visit.

     Little did I know that there was so much more to look forward to than just an ordinary visit!

     I picked Raymes up at the airport early early early on Boxing Day. What we did for the rest of the day, I do not remember. Probably hung out with my family. That evening, however, we had plans. We were going to pick up some pizza and go to the church, back to the place we met and first began our friendship. We'd have a "picnic" under the "stars" (aka the twinkle lights that we had put up in the fellowship hall for Serve, which were still there at the time!) and open our Christmas gifts for each other. We did this, taking turns opening gifts until there was just one left. It was for me, and I opened it to find a journal.

     This journal was not unknown to me. Raymond had originally given it to me for my birthday back in September, and he'd written in it. It was to be a journal where we could write things to each other, or reflections to God for the other to read. I'd returned it to him in November, and now I was getting it back.

     "I want to read you something," Raymond said, grabbing the book from my hands before I could open it.

     He started to read, and very quickly was tearing up. I went over and sat on his lap, hugging him as he continued. I distinctly remember thinking "Aw, this is so sweet! He should have saved this for the proposal!"

     It wasn't until he got halfway through page 5 of 6 that I realized that this WAS the proposal.

     He ended with "Katie, will you marry me?" as he shoved me off his lap so that he could shimmy over to his coat and pull out a small black box.

     My response? "Yes. Absolutely yes!"

     And after just 5 1/2 months of dating, we were engaged.

     We hadn't even known each other for a year yet, but I knew. I knew I loved Raymond, and that I wanted to marry him. He was unlike anyone I had ever met, and he loved God with all his heart. Was it fast? Absolutely! It was fast, but we knew. We'd been forced, by the long distance, to have those deeper conversations earlier. We both knew we weren't going to invest in a relationship if it wasn't going to go anywhere.

     Our relationship moved fast, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Six: Scared Together

      In July 2019, Raymond flew back to Ontario. Back in like, March, I'd suggested he come to Ontario for one of his weeks of summer vacation, not actually really expecting him to do so. But he agreed and booked his flights, so I also booked the week off and prepared to be tour guide. I did this quite happily, eager to see my good friend again!

     And so early on a Saturday morning, I picked Raymond up at the airport. We went out for breakfast, and I took him home, where he met my brother and parents for the first time. Later that day, we went over to my aunt and uncle's house, to visit with Jacob and so that my cousin Victoria could meet him (she was very insistent that she must!). The next day, my other brothers came home and met him, but we were still just friends so it was actually super awkward (because let's be real, no one believed me when I said we were just friends, yet we weren't officially dating so they couldn't say anything!)

     On Monday, I took Raymond to Toronto. We took the Go Train in, and started at the CN tower. After that, we went to the Hockey Hall of Fame, followed by heading out to Center Island. There, we wandered around, and even took a quick catnap under one of the trees. 

     After we ate dinner, we were walking through one of the fields on Center Island when, for some reason, we stopped and were hugging. As I started to pull away, Raymond said "Katie, you scare me."

     I knew what he meant by that.

     "You scare me, too," I admitted.

     "Want to be scared together?"

     My response was a super romantic "Sure!" And just like that, we stopped being "Just Friends" and started dating.

     Dating is hard, when you live on opposite ends of the country. I lived in Ontario, he in Alberta. Still, we made it work. We messaged even more. We talked on the phone a bit more often then just Sunday nights. And we did our best to visit whenever possible. Raymond was (and still is) blessed with a job that allows for a lot of overtime, which he can use for time off. So he came to visit in August, being there for me when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. I visited him in October, and he came back to Ontario in November for my cousin's wedding. It was just a week each time, but a week approximately every month was more than I could have hoped for!

     In October, we were already talking about marriage. 

     Raymond was my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss. And it was worth the wait, because Raymond loved God and sought after Him. He had his baggage and his past, but he had grown from it. 

     We were both scared, but we were both willing to take that risk with each other.

     Blessings,

          Katie 

Book Review: When Twilight Breaks

      Another book that I received recently to review is called When Twilight Breaks by Sarah Sundin. This one is set at the beginning of WWII, the story of an American journalist named Evelyn who is a foreign correspondent in Germany. During her time there, she meets professor Peter Lang, another American who is working on his PhD in German. Peter, initially, is impressed by the Nazi party and their ability to maintain order and a prosperous, orderly society, while Evelyn sees the horror that it would bring about. It doesn't take long, however, for Peter's views of the Nazis to drastically change. Evelyn and Peter strike up a friendship, and Peter uses his connections to the Nazi party to feed her information. Together, they find themselves in danger as the world finds itself on the brink of a war.

     This novel was engaging and definitely had a way of keeping you reading. It was interesting reading a WWII story that happens in Germany itself, and at the beginning, before the war officially begins. Was the story realistic? Probably not. But the author draws you in and makes you hope for the best for the characters that you meet. She wrote a good story, one that keeps you reading. If you enjoy novels based in historic times, specifically WWII, you'll enjoy this book!

     *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Our Story Part Five: "Just Friends"

      When Raymond got in that van and drove away from my church in the early, early morning of March 16, 2019, I didn't expect to ever hear from him again.

     How delightfully wrong I was.

     I texted him some jokey thing about making sure that they actually arrived back in Edmonton, to which he responded. And that was the beginning of a text chain that, honestly, never ended. We'd text every day. It started as just a text or two, once or twice a day. Eventually, that turned into three or four texts, and so on. At on point, we were texting each other 20+ messages a day, not to mention 20+ messages on Instagram and Facebook each. 

     At the beginning, though, it was just a few texts. Every time I saw a message from him, I'd smile. It very quickly became the highlight of my days. Everything changed, though, a couple weeks after we met. I was at work, on a Friday, sticking cuttings. During this time, I'd often pray and reflect on things. This particular day, I was praying for Raymond, and I felt God tell me to stop communication for a week.

     "A whole week?!" I thought, "I can't! That's too long! That's too hard!" Which, honestly, weirded me out because I had JUST met this guy a couple weeks before, and already the thought of going a whole week without communicating with him felt impossibly hard. I didn't want to.

     "Do you trust me?" I felt God ask.

     "Of course!" I said.

     "Then let him go."

     And so it went all afternoon. God continually asking me to trust Him, and asking me to let Raymond go.

     And so I did (very reluctantly). That night, I messaged Raymond and told him that from the next day until the following Saturday, he would not be hearing from me. I explained how hard it was for me, but that I felt God asking me to do that. (He later told me that when he received those texts, his heart sank and he immediately started to pray. And that God gave him an incredible peace about it).

     And thus began what we now refer to as "Ghost Week". 

     Ghost week was HARD. Which again, weirded me out because I had just met Raymond. Just a month earlier, I had never even heard of the guy. On Monday night, I got together with Jacob to plan a service for which the Serve team was leading. The planning was done very quickly, after which Jacob turned to me and said "We need to talk." And talk we did, which I mentioned in the Twin Time post. This was, though, the first time I actually acknowledged that I liked Raymond. 

     On Friday night, the last night of Ghost Week, we played the song Goodness of God at youth group. After, I went home and played it again, and had such a good, good time with God. It was the end of Ghost Week, but it was also probably the most powerful time of it. It had spent the whole week just wishing I could talk to Raymond again, and I felt like this was the night where I truly surrendered him and the situation to God.

     Saturday, I could finally talk to Raymond again. I was afraid that he would have enjoyed the time away from me, and realize that he didn't want to continue this friendship. So I texted him on my break, saying "Hey, it's Katie. You know, that random girl from Ontario. Don't know if you remember me." Raymond responded almost immediately, saying "Katie.... hmmmm, sounds familiar. Aren't you that crazy girl?" Or something like that.

     And just like that, Ghost Week was behind us. 

    It wasn't long after that that Raymond suggested a phone call. And so me, the person who hates phones and does everything possible to avoid calls, started talking on the phone every Sunday night. The first call was our shortest- and it was 3 1/2 hours long. For the next few months, we'd talk on the phone every Sunday night, to the point where we were talking for 8 hours. I wasn't getting to bed until 2:30 in the morning, and I'd have to get up for work at 6. I remember on Monday morning, I was yawning while putting UPCs on pot covers, and my boss asked why I was so tired. "I didn't get to bed until 2," I told him. He looked at me in surprise, "YOU. Didn't got to bed until 2?! Why!?" I responded that I was on the phone, to which he literally looked at me with his mouth open in shock. I think that's when he knew that something was up.

     In June of 2019, I went to Edmonton. It was not, however, to visit Raymond. See, my cousin and best friend, Rachel (Jacob's sister) lives here, and she needed to have her wisdom teeth removed. The October before, she was supposed to have it done and I was going to come out and be her "responsible adult" to drive her home, but she ended up postponing it. Perfect timing for me! So I got to see Raymond again. I arrived on Saturday, and on Sunday, Rachel and I went over to Raymond's house and had a bbq with him and his friends. I also met his family that week, but ultimately I was there for Rebecca and so spent most of my time with her (she was also helping me to know boundaries).

     All this time, Raymond and I were incredibly close. He'd become my best friend, and me his. But friends was all we were, all we could be. 

    At that time.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Book Review: The Way It Should Be

      I love reading, and getting free books in exchange for my honest review is, honestly, amazing. This one, however, took me awhile, because right as I received it, I found a job. Moving from unemployment to full time, physical labour at a greenhouse was exhausting.

     But I did it! I read the book! This one was called The Way It Should Be by Christina Suzann Nelson. The basic premise of this book is newly married Zara suddenly finds herself taking custody of her estranged twin sister's two young children, children she hadn't even known existed before now. Zara's twin, Eve, is wrapped up in a life of drugs and poverty, but she finds support in the form of a woman named Tiff. The story revolves around these three women and the brokenness of this world. It addresses addiction and the circumstances that can either lead to it or keep you in it. 

     Overall, this was a good read. It is definitely slow paced, so if you prefer action-packed novels, this would not be the book for you. The Way It Should Be is the type of book that can bring a lot of reflection, especially on the brokenness of this world. Addiction is a hard thing to address, yet it is a very major part of our times. The author addressed it, in my opinion, quite well.

      *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Book Review: The Powerful Purpose of Introverts

      In late November, I received a book in the mail entitled The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs YOU to be YOU by Holley Gerth. Being an introvert, I was pretty excited to read this book, and it didn't disappoint. It really helped me to understand myself more. As someone who is currently unemployed and looking for a job, I found it actually really helped me with realizing what kind of jobs I should be looking for, based on my social limits. 

     The back of the book states this: "Introverts make up half the population, yet most people still don't truly understand what it means to be one. In this eye-opening book, Holley Gerth shares everything you need to know, from brain science to the psychological, relational, and spiritual aspects of being an introvert. She also reveals exactly what will help you beat your struggles and maximize your strengths so you can live with clarity, courage, and confidence in a world that needs what only you can give."

     From the beginning, I found this book interesting and definitely helped me to understand myself more. At the end of the first chapter, Holley says "Who we are comes with potential struggles and strengths.... ...What if a struggle is just the other end of a strength?... ...Growth happens not by changing who we are but by learning how to move away from struggles and toward our strengths." 

     The book is filled with facts and research about the inner workings of our brains and such. It was so interesting to read about the physical differences in the brains of introverts and extroverts. Holley also included tips on things like what foods are better for an introverted brain. The entire book was not just a book about introverts and understanding them, but it also included many introspective times and 'activities' to help understand yourself personally, and how to best embrace your introverted-ness while also thriving in this world and what God has called you to.

     If you're an introvert looking to understand yourself better, or an extrovert who struggles to understand your significant other, child, friend, etc, I encourage you to give this book a read! It could help you in small ways, but it could also have a major, lasting impact!

 *** Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. ***

Our Story Part Four: Twin Time

      Now that Serve is over and Raymond is back in Edmonton, let's get back to Jacob and I. All of a sudden, our time together was over. We still had our Friday night youth group together, but we no longer had to spend almost every free moment together.

     That did not, however, stop us from hanging out and getting even closer. Because after Serve came a time we now call Twin Time.

     On a Monday evening shortly after Serve, Jacob and I got together to plan for a final service for our worship team. We somehow had it all planned and ready in twenty minutes -which, trust me, is not the norm!- and then he turned to me and said "So.... want to talk?"

     He started. He talked about how he really really liked our friend, mutual Young Adults leader (oh yeah, did I mention that Jacob, Victoria, and our friend Ericka had started a young adults group, and Jacob and I thus had that together, as well), Ericka. The thing was, the past May, Jacob had made a promise to God that he would not date for one year. Now, though, he was at the point where he liked Ericka so very much, and it was getting harder and harder not to say anything.

     Then it was my turn. I talked about how drawn I was to Raymond, and how I so enjoyed talking to him and I definitely liked him. And this happened to be during "Ghost Week" (I'll talk more about that later, but basically I was currently on day 3 of not communicating with Raymond for a week), so I also talked about how hard it was to not message Raymond, and how I was constantly wanting to tell him things, but how weird it was because we had JUST MET! 

     This conversation was the launch pad for Twin Time. For the next month and a half, both Jacob and I experienced deep, hardcore lessons from God, and delightfully, God was teaching us the same things. Probably weekly, Jacob and I would get together just to talk about all that God was doing in our lives, and through that He taught us even more. It got to the point where we would be listening to a lesson at youth group, or just sitting in church listening to a sermon when we would hear something, look at each other, and start laughing because of what was said -something that inevitably related to the lessons we were personally learning. I remember one specific time, we had a weekend young adult retreat at a cottage up north. On the last morning, I pulled out my Jesus Storybook Bible and started reading to everyone, out loud, from the beginning. I started the story of Abraham and Isaac, when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on an alter, and there was a line about trusting God (very much a theme for both Jacob and I during this time- and, I mean, always, but especially then!). Jacob was in the kitchen, washing the dishes (with Ericka, surprise surprise, she clearly liked him, too), and I read the line, looked towards him, and we both laughed uncontrollably while everyone else looked on in confusion. Jacob and I, by this point, could read each other's minds. 

     I know this is the story of me and Raymond, but during this really key point in my life, God really provided an important friend in Jacob. Because we were experiencing similar life experiences -liking someone, and not being able to act on it- and God lessons, it was a blessing to have him to talk to and trust with some of my deepest thoughts and emotions. This might sound like a strange kind of cousin relationship, but Jacob has always been more of a brother to me, and we were both incredibly blessed by each other during this time. Enough that I felt the need to write a whole post about it!

     As a quick side note, this was not the only time that Jacob, Ericka, Raymond, and I relationships were parallel. Jacob and Ericka started dating in June of that year (Raymond and I in July, spoilers), and got engaged this past March (a few months after Raymond and I did), after being in a long-distance relationship from September on. And to wrap it up, on August 8, three weeks before us, Jacob and Ericka got married, followed by a move across the country (to Nova Scotia, sadly, not Alberta like we did). So it's been pretty cool. We like to joke that we alternate in our life events- they started dating first, we got engaged first, and they got married first. So that means that Raymes and I have to have a baby first, to stick with the pattern (but that's actually probably likely, since Jacob is in his second year of law school). Jacob and Raymond also have a bro-mance that makes Ericka and I laugh and facepalm at the same time. 

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Three: SERVE

      Serve was quite the week. For the longest time, Jacob and I referred to it as "Last week". I'm so glad that it was not just last week, though, because that would mean I would still be in this place of limbo and confusion and honestly a really good place. It just is now in the past and I can't be mad about that!

     Even though I was on the Serve Host Team, I still had to work that week. Every day, I would get up at 6am as usually, and head to work. I'd spend my day working at my physical labour job in the greenhouse. By lunchtime, Jacob would have sent me his ideas for that night's worship session, which I would read and then spend the afternoon thinking about and praying over as I worked. After work, I would run out the back door to my boss's parent's house, where I would shower before dashing to my car and driving straight to church. Once at church, Jacob and I would meet in the sanctuary where his youngest sister, Arabella, would bring me a much-needed coffee. Jacob and I would talk and pray about the session that night, and make our final plans on the songs, readings, and such. My job after this was always to write out and photocopy the order of worship for each member of our team, so I would head down to the office.

     Monday was the Serve team's first day of working, and they all started to trickle back as I was photocopying the order of worship. The door they entered was right by the office, so I greeted them as they entered. Just as I finished, Raymond and his van-full of students arrived back, and I stopped to chat with some of the girls about their day. Raymond was there, as well, and we ended up chatting for awhile before I went back upstairs. 

     We ate dinner shortly afterwards, followed of course by the second worship session. The official evening ended with the worship team gathering as our small group to debrief and pray together. We did this every night, and it was such a precious time during the week. It's still a cherished memory of the Serve week!

     After small group, a few of us inevitably ended up gathered in the fellowship hall, chatting. And Raymond came upstairs. That first evening of talking, there was a group of us. Me, Jacob, a few members of the worship team, and a couple other members of the host team. We all talked and laughed and finally split to go home and to bed.

     And that became the routine of the week. Work, planning, talking to Raymond as he arrived back at church. Dinner, worship, and small group. And then, after the official part of the day was over, talking with Raymond, Jacob, and occasionally one or two others. It seemed that every evening, it was one less person and we talked longer and longer, until Thursday night it was just Jacob, Raymond and I talking. until one in the morning. Jacob fell asleep at one point, and when we woke him up to tell him to go to bed (he was sleeping at church all week), he insisted that we all head downstairs. Little did I know that all week, Jacob could sense a spark between the two of us, and he was intentionally chaperoning us. 

     Until Friday night.

     Friday was the last night of Serve. The Edmonton team was leaving for the airport at 3:30 in the morning. So after one final evening of worship, the whole worship team was invited to stay and play games and hang out with the Edmonton team. None of them were planning on going to bed that night, so it was an all-nighter of fun. 

     I'm not a game person. So although I participated in the first one, when everyone went upstairs to play "Battleship" in the sanctuary, I dipped out, heading to the prayer chairs, located in a dim corner of the fellowship hall. I walked, hoping that Raymond would follow so we could talk, and he did not disappoint. 

     We spent the rest of the night upstairs, talking. About everything and everything. Until 3 in the morning, when he had to go and pack up, we talked. Long after everyone else went back downstairs to play other games, we talked. Alone for the first time.

     At one point, Raymond asked me for my number, and he texted me so we could stay in contact. At the end of the night, he asked if we could hug. And we did, my head fitting perfectly under his chin. We went downstairs, had an awkward public goodbye with everyone, and we all went outside to our cars. Raymond and the rest of the Edmonton team piled into their vans and drove away.

     And just like that, the longest, most exhausting, thrilling, and amazing week of my life was over. And Raymond, the most intriguing, kind, sensitive guy I'd ever met, the man I was drawn to the entire week, was gone.

     Blessings,

          Katie

Our Story Part Two: Breakfast

      So, where was I? Hawaii, Serve opportunity, Jacob.... crazy times.... business..... and Serve. Alright. Got it.

     So January and February were a crazy time for both Jacob and I, and it was all leading up to the week of March 9- 16. March Break 2019. 

     It all started on Saturday, March 9, 2019. It was my first work Saturday of the year, so I was unable to meet at the church to set up and do the final preparations for the team arriving that evening. After work, however, for the first time, I raced straight to the church. About an hour later, the Serve team -a group of students from a high school in Edmonton, along with their teacher and 2 chaperones- arrived. They got set up, we ate dinner, and then Jacob and I gathered our worship team, named PP, to kick off our first worship session. I introduced everyone, we had our time of worship, and then we all split into small group time. The Edmonton team went downstairs, and Jacob and I gathered our worship team to have our own small group. We debriefed the session, during which a lot of us pointed out the mistakes which we made, but we followed that up with prayer and everyone went home. Saturday night was the first of two nights that I had to sleep at the church, so I retired to my room and went to bed.

     Sunday, March 10 dawned a sunny, warm day. Just kidding, I don't remember what the weather was like. What I DO remember, quite vividly, is standing upstairs before breakfast, talking to a fellow Host Team member and the female chaperone from the Edmonton team. As we chatted, a bearded man walked up and handed the female chaperone some papers. "Here are your shower passes," he told her, and immediately I thought "Ohhhhh, he's NOT a student!"

     The man then turned to me, holding out a hand (oh the days when we could shake hands!), "Hi, I'm Ray," he introduced himself. And just like that, without having any inkling of an idea, I had met my future husband.

     The four of us continued chatting until it was time for breakfast, and I ended up seated beside Raymond. As we ate, we talked about out mutual love of travelling, and were delighted to discover that each of us loved Venice in particular. I kept trying to make sure I was talking to the teen girls also at our table, but somehow would find myself back to talking to this Ray guy.

     It wasn't long into breakfast that Raymond casually, during the discussion about travelling Europe, said "We -my ex and I. I'm divorced- were...." I don't remember the whole sentence anymore, obviously, but I do remember immediately thinking "Divorced? Stay away from this one!" To be clear, I in no way was interested in him romantically, nor did it EVER enter my mind, while preparing for Serve and during Serve, that I would meet that Someone. It was just an automatic step back when he mentioned that he had an ex-wife.

     And that's how I met Raymond, my future husband. He introduced himself as Ray -which confused me for the longest time, cause I called him Ray but he didn't seem to respond to it very well, and all of his social media said Raymond. He was trying a thing. He figured he'd never see any of us again, so why not. :P

     After that breakfast, for the rest of the day and week, I was inexplicitly drawn to Raymond. I always took note of where he was. I would pay attention to him. I was always aware of him. It was weird. I was genuinely weirded out by it, at least at first. By the end of the week, we had talked to much that it wasn't so strange, but at the beginning, I didn't understand it. On Sunday, I noticed where he was during church. I watched him in the afternoon, when we played games in the school gym. I noticed when he entered the worship session. I always was aware of where this divorced man from Edmonton was.

     Raymond's first memory of me is from the night before, but I didn't see him until Sunday. And that was just the beginning of an amazing relationship that I am so thankful for. 

     Blessings,

          Katie