The Roller Coaster

     Being in a DTS is a very unique experience. Basically, you’re at Spiritual boot camp 24/7. Not only do we have worship every day, but our classes are all about God and our faith. And during our free time, especially late at night, we often find ourselves gathered in the hall or in the lounge just talking about things. And I love it. It is awesome. Honestly, choosing to come to Wisconsin was really the best decision I have ever made!

     At the same time, though, it is hard. It’s like I'm on a spiritual roller coaster. Some days, I feel God’s presence so clearly and I can hear Him speaking to me. Other days, no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to feel or hear Him at all. It can get frustrating, let me tell you!

This past week was definitely a roller-coaster, but mostly I just was struggling to connect with God. On Monday at conference, during worship, during worship, I saw an image from God. But I had no idea what it meant. So I prayed about it, but I still didn't have clarity.

     The next morning, I awoke and my first thought was about the Garden of Eden and how Adam and Eve freely walked with God there (the image had included a beautiful garden). It was literally my first thought, but I wasn't sure if it was just my weird early morning/half asleep brain (cause trust me, there can be some weirdness in my sleep! Oh boy, some of you know!) or if that was actually God letting me know what the vision was about. So I went about the day, but I just couldn't seem to connect to God at all.

     Tuesday night was a really meaningful worship session for most people, but I just couldn't seem to connect with God. After the time was over, the leaders put ipod worship music on and gave us the opportunity to stay and continue to talk to God if we desired. I stayed and was talking with one of my friend (it was Anna). Then Christine came over and started to tell us about how God had been showing her images of ladders all day, and she just couldn't figure out what it was supposed to mean. So then I told them both about what I had seen, and we decided to pray about it together (I'm still not entirely comfortable praying out loud in front of people, but I do it all the time and I'm getting there!) and ask God for clarity.

     After the prayer was over, Anna turned to Christine and explained what she believed the ladders to mean. And it made sense, especially since I had immediately thought of Jacob and his dream about the staircase to Heaven, and the two thoughts related. Just then, Keisha, my one-on-one came over and knelt by Christine. She told her that God had told her to tell Christine something during worship, but she had waited until now. After she said the message, we all just started laughing- it was exactly what we had just discussed about what the ladders meant! It was super cool :)

     Then Anna turned to me and said what she thought mine meant. "I'm not sure exactly where it is in the Bible," she said, "But in the tabernacle, there was a place. I don't know what it was called in English, but it is like the place where it was more holy, where God was." (the Holy of Holies). So once we established what that was, she said that my image was about God wanted me to come into His presence completely. So then I was like "Yeah, considering what my first thoughts this morning were, that would make sense!" 

     So that was really awesome! Absolutely great! But after that, it seemed like I just absolutely could not feel God's presence, and the only time I could ever really hear Him was during intercession on Thursday. And even that was weird- everyone in my group got messages about light, and I got weird images, one of an old man and one of a gingerbread mountain with an elf on top, of all things.

     Still today I am struggling with feeling God's presence and hearing Him. I feel like I am trying and trying and just not getting it. At the same time, weirdly enough, I just feel like God is telling me to be patient and persistent. When I said this in our worship this morning (due to a lack of vehicles at the TC, some of us had church here this morning), when we prayed in small groups, Kenzie grinned, "You aren't hearing God, but He told you to be persistent, huh?" (there would totally be an 'eh' there if she was Canadian!). And yes, its kind of weird and funny, but its true. 

     This coming week, we are learning about Spiritual Warfare (yay!). And honestly, I think it is going to be a really hard week for me. I just feel that God has told me before that spiritual warfare is something that I am going to be experiencing a lot of in my life, and that it is something I need to know about. But the enemy is obviously not going to want that. Really, I feel like my struggle to connect with God is in part because of this. So my goal this week is to be persistent and continue to pursue God, and to pay attention during class no matter how tired I am, or how much my head hurts. And I have this feeling that this week, I'm going to be exhausted and have bad headaches!

     Good thing I've started drinking coffee :) Seriously, last week, I averaged 2 a day. Two an hour, really, cause I'd have one before worship in the morning, and one after.... And sometimes another one after class :P

     So yeah, that's where I am. I wasn't going to write about it, but I feel like it is something God wants me to do (again, I know, weird... I'm struggling to hear Him yet I know He is telling me these things... its is super hard to explain!). One thing we've learned while we have been here is that when you stand up and admit what you are struggling with, it loses its hold on you. You can also find out that while you felt alone and isolated in the struggle, other people might be dealing with the same things. 

     So yeah. That's that. I'd really appreciate your prayers this week, just that I will be able to focus and learn in class, no matter what! 

     Blessings,

          Katie

GO Go Go!

          This past week, my DTS and I, along with 4 other DTSs from various locations across the States, gathered in Missouri for a conference. My DTS left last Saturday morning at 8:30. We piled onto the bus and into one of our large vans and drove all day. We arrived at our destination -Camp David in the Ozark's- at about 6:30 that evening.

     Camp David is a summer camp for the children of incarcerated people. Each summer, the camp hosts 6 week long camps. All the children have at least one parent who is in jail or has been in the past. When we arrived, we were shown to rooms where we would be staying for the night, ate dinner with the Camp David staff, and this was followed by an evening of learning about Camp David, worship, and intercession for the camp.
     The next morning, we ate at the camp and then re-boarded the bus to head off to Roach, Missouri, where the YWAM GO! Conference was being held. Basically, this was 5 DTSs gathered and learning together. It was really like a vacation- instead of having 12 roommates, I had 4, and instead of having 3 toilets (one which doesn't really work) and 4 showers for 35 females, we had one of each for the 5 in our room! It was great! :)
     The focus of the week was Missions. Our speakers were Brian Hogan, who spoke about his experiences church planting in Mongolia, Brad Stanley, who talked about cities and evangelizing, and Amanda Siebold, who spoke about her work at a domestic violence shelter in Kansas City.
     The week was good, and, as usual, we all learned a lot. I especially learned a lot from Brad which I hadn't thought about before -we have been praying for God to give us the opportunity to reach the unreached peoples, and here they are, all gathering in one place! Sometimes, the best way to evangelize isn't to go out into the wilds and find these people, but to just go to the cities, talk to them there, and let them take it back to their people. Brad talked about urbanization in our culture, which is happening at a very rapid rate. Currently, over 50% of the world's population is living in a major urban city, and by 2030, it is estimated that that number will be at 60-65%. The problem is, rather than seeing urbanization as a good thing, many Christians instead moved out of the cities. One thing that Brad said that really stood out to me was that "The city does not create brokenness, it just draws it to the surface and accentuates it."
     Another part of Brad's teaching that really caught me attention was when he discussed immigrants. He has worked with YWAM in Chicago for years, and so he has talked to countless immigrants. One question he will always ask them is what is one thing they really want to do but haven't. And almost every single person he has talked to -and some have lived in America for over 10 years; they are not necessarily new immigrants!- said that they have always wanted to be invited into an American home. But they never have. They also have very rarely heard the words "I'm glad you are here."
     The last point of Brads that really stood out to me was when he talked about the parable of the mustard seed in Matthew 13. We always find great comfort in this parable- you can be like a tiny little seed and have faith like a tiny little seed, and yet you can still do much! But as Brad pointed out, in order for this seed to grow, it first had to be planted. If left on a shelf somewhere, the tiny seed won't do anything. "So go, plant yourself somewhere, and God will use you," Brad said.
     Another thing that happened during conference was we finally got our outreach locations finalized- we had an outreach reveal night nearly two weeks ago. That night, we spent about an hour in worship, preparing our hearts to listen to God. Once we felt ready, we went upstairs where there was a table for each of the five outreach location. Each table had information about the country, a sample of their food, and a couple other things. We got to see the countries and then take as long as we needed to decide which place God was calling us to.
     One of the outreach locations was Uganda. And I wanted to go there- I've always wanted to go to Africa. So I looked at the other tables, but I stayed at Uganda for longer cause that's the place I was most interested in. Usually, the Uganda team goes to a baby home- that would just be totally awesome!
     Another option was Mexico. And for some reason, I found myself drawn back to that table over and over again. I didn't want to go to Mexico- that's barely even going anywhere! Uganda was where I wanted to go!
     But I knew God was telling me no, that He wanted me in Mexico. So I sat down on a couch with the paper that I needed to number my choices on. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't write it down. "Please, God," I said, "If you want me to go to Mexico, confirm it."
     About a minute later, Kenzie, one of the staff members, walked over to me. "How are you doing? Need to verbally process or talk about it?"
     I shook my head, "I think I know. I just don't want to write it down," I told her.
     She nodded and sat down beside me and held out a plate that she had, "Well, do you want some salsa and chips? They're from Mexico!"
     So.... now that the teams are finalized, it is official: I will be heading to Mexico after Christmas for a couple of months! Mexico is the smallest team- only two students besides me signed up for it. But I think it will be a good team!
     The funny thing is that the Uganda team is the biggest. Over 1/3rd of our DTS is going there. Almost everybody put Uganda as either number one or two. This has never happened before. Usually, Uganda is a very small team. This year, they are sending two teams to that country. And a few of the people going there did not want to go there! One of the girls literally just came back from a month serving in Uganda, and that was the last place she wanted to go to. Another girl has lived in Africa for most of her life, so she wanted to go to Asia or somewhere different. But God is calling her to Uganda, just as He is calling me to Mexico.
     When we left the conference on Friday afternoon, we only took half our DTS with us, The Rescue Ops people travelled to Arkansas, where they are staying for the week. So here at the TC, it is quite quiet and strange! Half the family is gone! There is currently only one guy here, other than 4 year old Micah. It is just strange!
     One thing I really love here is the relationships I am building. We all get along really well and you can talk to anyone, but I've come to know a few people better than others. After lunch on Thursday, some people from my DTS got baptised in the lake at the conference. Kenzie and I decided to sit and talk nearby until it was time for the baptism. The next thing we knew, it was nearly dinner time! And last night, again, we started talking and the next thing we knew, it was nearly one in the morning. I've also grown close to my bunkmate, Anna. She's attempting to teach me Portuguese (she is from Brazil). We have a lot of fun together. Last night, after Kenzie went to bed, Anna and I went stargazing. We were sitting there, looking at the stars, when I said "Anna, we don't get to clean the guy's bathroom together this week! It's so sad!" (since the Rescue Ops people are gone, our chores got shifted a bit). Anna looked at me and started laughing, "That was what I was just thinking!" she told me. I don't know, I guess stars just make us think of those things... :P
     Anna also really wanted to see a shooting star. But there was nothing. So we were beginning to get a bit cold, so at 1:37, we decided to give it 5 more minutes. We prayed and begged God to send a shooting star, because we were going inside at 1:42. At exactly 1:42, there was a huge shooting star :)
     So life here is busy, but really fun :) And I have picked out a few pictures to show you... but trust me, this is just a tiny snippet of my life!

 This is The Hallway, on any given night. We like to hang out here.

 Just some pictures from GO Conference. We split into teams for games that involved shaving cream. And one with eggs (I ended up having 2 raw eggs cracked on my head). Christine and a couple others were baptised, and my DTS had an hour of worship in a cave.

 On the night of our Love Feast (we all had to dress up), we took some girls pictures :)

 After supper one day, a few of us had a craving for ice cream. So we drove over to a local ice cream place, Sassy Cow. There are quite a few Sassy Cow trips around here!

 This is my entire DTS family -staff and students- other than the two staff members who did not go to the GO Conference.

 This is Keisha and Anna. Keish-Keish is my one-on-one. They were holding my ipod for me while I wrestled Kenzie, and as you can see, they had some fun...

 This is the view at Camp David... it was beautiful!

 We had worship in this cave... at the very end of the cave. Not in the entrance!

 The lake at the GO Conference

I saw the sunrise as I walked to breakfast every morning of the GO Conference. It was absolutely beautiful!

     Blessings,

          Katie

Keep Knocking

     Today started out as a normal day. We got up and had breakfast at 7. Quiet time was from 7:45-8:45. After quiet time, we had intercession. This is something that we do every Tuesday and Thursday. The past 3 intercession times have just been learning about intercession. Today, for the first time, we spit into our intercession groups and began to actually pray and intercede.

     I'm not going to lie, going in, I was both excited and a bit nervous- I'm not very good at distinguishing God's voice from my own thoughts. And intercession is all about waiting for God to speak to you and then praying for that specific thing that He told you. So I was a bit apprehensive. I think we all were, though.

     My intercession group was really good. There were five of us students plus two leaders, including one of my small group leaders. For the next few weeks, we will be praying for the country of Bhutan, and today, we were specifically praying for the king and queen there. We began by praying praise to God, and welcoming Him to this place, and asking Him to remove any outside distractions and to give us a clean conscience for our time, so that we could focus on Him and what He had to say,

     Then we were all silent for awhile while we listen for what God had to say to us.

     Once that time was over, we went in a circle and shared what we had received from God. And they all tied together- it was really cool. I won't go into detail about what we all got from God, but if you want to hear more, feel free to ask me sometime! All I'm going to say is I received a few pictures from God that first time. Then we went back to God for clarification on the images that some of us received, the ones that were unclear (like mine. And Keisha's). After this, we began praying.

     While we were praying, suddenly the word "Nahum" came into my head. I was pretty sure it was a book of the Bible, so I checked. Sure enough, it is a short book at the end of the Old Testament. So I flipped there. I didn't get a specific chapter and verse, so I just looked over the whole book (it is quire short). At first, I thought it was crazy, because the subject of the book had nothing to do with what we were praying about! But then I saw Nahum 1:15 "Look, there on the mountains, the feet of one who brings good news, who proclaims peace!" And this fit exactly in with what we were praying about and hearing from God.

     So the whole intercession experience went really well. I really enjoyed it, and it was so, so cool to see these little pictures or thoughts/feelings coming together, when they seemed so random at first. It was awesome :) We serve a great, amazing God, you know!

     Then we went to class, learned a lot, had lunch, and after lunch, we had small group. Near the end of small group, our leaders suggested that each week, we lift one specific person from our group up to God and ask Him if He has anything to say to them through us. So we did so for one girl, who first told us some things that she has been struggling with spiritually. So we prayed, and then sat silently asking God if He wanted to say anything through us. Again, I received an image in mind, this time with an explanation for it. We all shared and then went on to pray for this girl. However, there is another girl in my small group who has been experiencing severe back pain this week. So we decided to pray for her as well. We all laid our hands on her and prayed for healing. After, we asked Ashley if her back was feeling better.

     "Not completely. I mean, it feels a little bit better but I'm still in pain," she told us.

     One of the things that we have been learning this week is that we need to be persistent with God. In Matthew 7:7, it says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Our speaker this week, Paul, explained that this isn't just a one time thing- it is knock continuously. Don't knock then wait; knock until you get an answer. Maybe I'll talk about that more another time.

     So anyway, we decided to pray for Ashley again. And then again. And still her back hurt, but only in one spot now. So a few of us laid our hands directly on that spot and we prayed yet again. Suddenly, Michele, one of my small group leaders, got up and came excitedly over to place her hands on Ashley's back. After she finished off with her prayer, she explained that she had suddenly felt pain in that exact spot. 

     We turned to Ashley again. "How is your back now?" we asked her. And she moved. She stretched her back. She rolled her shoulders.

     The pain was completely gone.

     It was so cool!

     Tonight we had a "love feast". We basically had the Last Supper. We ate upstairs, in the Upper Room (aka the lounge) on the floor (it was super pretty!). We ate unleavened bread and some other things, people recited poetry and played songs. It was really neat! 

     So that was today. It was a really good day :)

     Blessings,

          Katie

Devil's Lake

     This past Saturday, we were given the opportunity (which most of us took) to travel to Devil's Lake State park for the day. So piled into our vans -a 15 seater, 12 seater, and 8 seater- and drove the hour or so to the park.
     It was absolutely beautiful! beside the lake, there was a huge bluff. There were trails leading up to the top, but our group chose to climb the hill the difficult way- by clambering over the boulders. So basically, real life rock climbing. From the bottom, the rock section didn't really look that big. But it was a lot steeper and taller than I first thought! Eventually we got to the top, though, and were able to enjoy the spectacular view! A group of us ate lunch up on the bluff, just looking out over the trees and lake below us.
     Just before going home, a few of us crashed a wedding ceremony by the beach, but that's another story!
     So the weekends here are good. We can relax and hang out, and we can explore the nearby places. Sundays we go to church (not necessarily the same one.... People who have a car and are willing to drive will choose whatever church they would like to attend that week, and the rest of us sign up for whatever vehicle has room based on which church we would like to go to. After church, we always stop at a laundromat to clean our clothes. It's good hangout time, because often you will be in a car with people you don't necessarily hang out with regularly during the week.
     Last week, we had a few different speakers. The first was Manuel, and he spoke about worldview. The week ended with learning about clean conscience with Lea.
     One thing that we will be doing regularly during out time in DTS is intercession. Our third speaker last week was Kathy Ryan, the same person who taught us about hearing God's voice during out first week here. She will be helping us learn about and begin to practice intercession. This week we will have our last class about intercession and then begin to do so. Intercession happens on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
     Here are some photos from our day at Devil's Lake.

This is the bottom of the boulder hill we climbed up- it is higher then it looks!

 This is the view from climbing the boulders. We are not at the top yet- we still have quite a ways!

 This is a rock called the Devil's Doorway. It was really cool looking! A bunch of people climbed between the two big rocks. And one guy, Codi, climbed on top of the whole thing!

 Here I am at the top! It was a beautiful view!

 The view

 Here are a few of us. Some of my family :)

 We ate lunch at the top of the bluff

 Here is a view of the rocks from the top. We climbed those rocks there.

 Another view

 Anna and I went down earlier than the others. And we took a train track selfie :)

Here is a view of the bluff from the bottom

     So that is what has been going on around here lately! 

     Blessings,

          Katie

Ephesians 6:12

     Last night, I intended on going to bed early. A bunch of people went into Madison, and I stayed behind to just rest. Just before I was going to get ready for bed, I headed upstairs to our loft lounge to use the internet, since that and the caf are the only places it has been working this past week (we are all a little frustrated with that!). Upstairs, I found some people chatting, so me being me,  I decided to stay and hang out for a bit. And I'm glad I did... only I did not get to bed early. Unless you call 1 in the morning a decent hour for bedtime!
     It all started with us discussing what we are going to do after our DTS is over. A couple of the girls were stressing about what to do, because they have no clue (oh what a familiar feeling!). And that turned into talk about hearing God speak to us. We learned about it on our first week here. We had been sent outside to spend time with God and listen to Him speak. But, it turns out, a lot of us struggle with hearing God's voice. We have been feeling isolated, thinking that we were the only ones who couldn't hear or even sense God speaking to us. I am included in this group of people who are struggling in this area. That first week, with Kathy, it was great! I did hear God speaking to me. I've heard Him before in my life, like when I decided to come here to Wisconsin. I didn't really want to come. I like being at home. I like my family and friends over there! But one day in church, in the middle of the sermon, I had a thought that I knew was God, which simply said "You are going to Wisconsin". Which was what I had been trying to decide. So it isn't like I have never heard God before. But in the past few weeks, it seems like everyone is saying "God told me this" while I am sitting there struggling to hear His voice, and becoming discouraged because I cannot. So last night, when one of the other girls admitted this to us, I completely understood what she was feeling... I am going through the same struggles! And one by one, almost everyone in the room admitted that they were feeling the exact same way and struggling the exact same thing. Only each of us had felt alone in the struggle! It was just like Lea, one of our speakers last week, had said on Friday: it is so so important to talk to others about your struggles and questions and sins, because a) once you say it out loud to someone, it loses its power over you and the enemy loses that approach to attack you, and b) you can learn that you are not alone in your struggle and even those who do not share it can encourage you and pray for you, or hold you accountable. This became so obvious to us when we learned that almost every single person was struggling with the exact same problem.
     It was about then that we realized what is really happening- spiritual warfare. Satan does not like what is happening here in this old elementary school in the middle of nowhere near Columbus, Wisconsin. So he is putting doubts and negative thoughts into our heads. He's not very creative, though... He is putting the same thoughts and doubts into all of our heads. Even when it came to simply coming here for DTS... shortly before arriving or even after coming, a lot of people questioned why they were doing this, and if they should just not do it at all. God has big plans for this group of young people gathered here, and the enemy clearly doesn't like it. On Friday, in class, we made a covenant between ourselves and God that we would strive to have a pure heart and become strong in the Lord, together as a community. And that we would strive for unity. We made it very clear to the spiritual world what we are about and what we plan on doing. And the warfare became more intense for people after that. So please keep us all in your prayers as we deal with that and stand up to the enemy! Some of us (myself included) do not know very much about spiritual warfare (like, as in, I don't know anything about it, really) so it is hard to know what to do. One girl in particular is extremely afraid, which gives Satan a foothold and so she has been attacked particularly hard.
     As a group, once we had finished our discussion, we prayed and then departed for bed. So all of the girls who had been there gathered in the bathroom to brush our teeth and such. And somehow we ended up talking for another 40 minutes (girls, I suppose...) because some girls were struggling with spiritual attacks right then. So we prayed right there in the bathroom before going off to bed.
     It was almost 1:30 by the time I actually crawled into bed, and I was tired. But I could not sleep. I just felt God pushing me to pray for our school and for my one friend in particular, the one who is extremely afraid about spiritual warfare. She sleeps in the bed across from me, and I normally sleep facing the wall. But last night, I felt God pushing me to sleep facing her and just pray over her for a good 5 or 10 minutes, and then over the school as a whole (its pretty ironic that I was struggling with hearing God speak to me, but as soon as we talked about it and our mutual struggles with it, I felt Him pushing me to do things! I still am having struggles with differentiating my own thoughts from God, but its a learning process! Please pray that I will grow in that area and learn to recognize God's voice!). So I lay in my bed and just pleaded with God to protect our school and send His angels to surround us and that we would not let the devil get any foothold and that we would know how to stand up against him. So I prayed for probably somewhere between half an hour and an hour, just repeating the same thing over and over and over until I felt peace. And then I could finally sleep.
     Spiritual warfare is something I don't know very much about. I don't think we've ever talked about it at my church. I never ever have thought about it, up until this past spring. I don't know why, but all of a sudden, this spring, I had an avid interest in spiritual warfare. I talked to people about it at work quite a few times, because I wanted to know more about it. Like my friend, the thought of demons and things happening around me that I can't see kind of freaked me out. But after talking about it, I realized that I shouldn't be afraid, because not only does that give the enemy more power over me, but I also serve an awesome, powerful God who has already defeated the devil. Anyway, looking back now, I believe that God put spiritual warfare on my heart way back in May in order to prepare me for this fall, when I would experience a lot of it. I didn't realize it at the time, but God knows what He is doing. :)
     So that is what has been going on in the spiritual realm around here. I'll try to talk about what else has happened soon. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow.... and maybe in like a week because writing is hard. I get too distracted by wanting to be social :P
     Again, just please keep me and the DTS in your prayers. Thank you!
     Blessings,
          Katie
Ephesians 10-18

Here are a few of us on our hike at Devil's Lake yesterday.... an amazing view! I will hopefully have a few more pictures later on!

The Adventure Called Christianity

     So the theme for our second week at DTS was Identity, and our speaker for the week was Troy Sherman. He is an amazing speaker. He grew up in YWAM, strayed from the Lord for awhile, and now him and his wife started an anti-trafficking initiative and he speaks in different places.
     How to summarize what we all learned?! I could go on about it for days!
     He started by talking about how valuable we are. When Jesus looks at you, He sees you as equal in value to himself, because He paid that price for you. If there were a price tag around your neck, it would say "The blood of God", and that means that that is your worth. No matter what you have done. We are the crown jewel of God. When He created the world, He spoke everything into being. Except man. Man, he created with His hands. And He breathed life into us. He created us to have relationship with us. He didn't die for what we do for Him, He died for you. Even if you live your entire life not doing anything for God, He still loves you and is proud of you and thinks that you are worth it. He loves you because He loves you because He loves you. God can be disappointed in what happened. But He will never be disappointed in you. Ever. Basically, as Troy said, if you dressed up as a clown and went out and killed people, then gave your life to God, He would forgive you and love you. If you are a serial killer clown, God will love you anyway, simply because He loves you for you and not for your actions. But, Troy told us, don't become a serial killer clown.
     Good piece of advice :)
     Another thing that Troy really emphasized was that if we want to see change in this world, we must act. We are the change. Normally, when you hear that, it seems overwhelming and impossible. I mean, come on. I'm just one person. I don't have amazing resources. How on earth am I supposed to change the world?! But Troy made it sound so possible. It starts, he said, with right now. Each everyday deed is the beginning. It says in the Bible that Christ is the head, and we are the body.
     Often, we will point at the poverty in Africa or other places in the world and say "Why does God allow that? Why doesn't He do something?!" Yet we are God's body. God isn't allowing it, we are! Christ is the head, but a head cannot move without the rest of the body! Rather than praying "God, you", we need to pray "God, what do you want me to do?". We are it. We are God's plan. If we give ourselves and our lives over to God, He will use you. Whatever you give, He will use. If you allow Him to, He will give you the opportunity to make a difference and make a change. Like Troy pointed out, many of the people that God used in the Bible were not really that amazing of people. And they had little- Moses had a stick. The boy had some bread and fish. Yet God used them.God uses what you have. So while you may think that you have nothing that could be used, God can use it and make something of it. All you need is to be ready and willing. God looks at the present, not the future. In the same way, He wants us to dwell in the now. If you look at changing the world as something big that will happen in the future, it will never happen. But if you look at what you can do today, it is so much easier!
     God uses the ordinary to do extraordinary things. If you give God your whole heart, then an infinite God has infinite possibilities. He will speak to you about what you can do with your life within the limits of what you are offering Him. If you say "God, I want to serve you. But I want to stay here and work in this industry," then He will use you where you are. But if you say "God, I want to serve you wherever and however you want to use me," then He can use you in ways that you might never even have imagined!
     We are not lacking the resources needed to change the world. We are not lacking the knowledge. We have everything we need. It is ignorance that keeps use from doing it. Ignorance, because we believe that we can't do anything. That what little we can do won't make a difference. This is what Satan wants, because it keeps us from taking that first step of action! We have a powerful, mighty God. He is infinite. All He needs is for us to step up and say "Here I am, God. I don't have anything except a willingness to do whatever You tell me. So do what you wish." God can do anything. By saying this, we are, as I said before, giving an infinite God infinite possibilities. At one point, Troy asked us if he took a picture of the night sky, would we be able to count all the visible stars? We said no. "That's wrong," Troy told us, "It is possible. It has been done. We can count the visible stars; it takes awhile, but it can be done. So how are we going to try things that are only possible through God if we don't even believe that possible things are possible?" We need to do the possible- God will do the impossible. Jesus doesn't say "Go there", He says "Follow me there".
     The moment you decide that you are going to fight is the moment that you are free. Satan no longer has any hold on you. And he does not want you to know that.
     Our purpose in life is relationship. That's why God created us- for relationship with Him! Adam and Eve walked and talked with God in the Garden of Eden. That was their purpose. The Fall did not change God's plan for us; it did not change our destiny. We all know the children't song "Jesus loves me, this I know". You can't move on from this. This is reality. If you know anything, know this! Don't graduate from this reality! God wants a relationship with you. This is your identity and your destiny!
     We are here to love and be loved. Love will compel you where duty will not. The acts that we do for God shouldn't be done out of a feeling of duty, but out of love for Him and for His people. We need to practice love! We need to also accept God's love for us. Sometimes, we want to say "God, I'm not worthy of Your love." To that, God will reply "Yes, you are." Because He loves us no matter what. If we then say "No, really, I'm not worthy," we are basically saying that we know better than God. But we don't. Don't ever doubt God's love for you, because it is real and it is unconditional and it is forever.
     Love can change the world. We really think it should be more complicated, but it isn't. If we just begin to love the way Christ loved, we will see a difference! If we did this, the world would start to come to us. They will see that something is different, and they will want to know why. As Bono said, "'Love your neighbour' wasn't a piece of advice, it was a command."
     Don't do something and then ask God to bless it. I mean, maybe He will. But if you truly want to follow God, find what He is blessing and go do that.
     Being a Christian is an adventure!
     That is a VERY short summary of what we all learned and talked about last week. There is so much more that I could say! I honestly wish that you could all just hear what Troy has to say! But this will have to do for now... when I get home, if you would like to read my notes, which contains so much more than this, just ask me! I will let you read them!
     Blessings,
          Katie :)

I Survived!

     Right now, I am supposed to be in northern Wisconsin, roughing it in the woods. Actually, I should be building a bridge right now with my tribe. Not a small bridge, but one that could cross a large creek! 

     But I'm not doing that (obviously). I'm back home at the base.

     Here is my Survivor post.

     On Wednesday afternoon, all 32 of us students, and 4 of the Madison staff who were on tribes with us, as well as some staff and students from another Wisconsin DTS that joined us for the week, climbed aboard our school bus and headed out on our adventure. Before we left, though, we gathered in our "tribes" (we had 4 tribes) and received our passports, which contained our identity for the week. I was from India, and my name was Marshmallow Roast (very creative! It was definitely the funniest name, along with a guy named Brad Gardner, whose name was Broccoli Gardner). I was born on May 17, 2014. Yes, I was 4 and a half months old :P

     We drove for about four hours. It was dark by the time we neared our destination. And then the bus stopped. In the middle of the road, surrounded by dark woods. Someone came onto the bus.

     She was wearing full camo and had a camo handkerchief around her face. She ordered us all to show our passports. And she yelled at certain people to get off the bus. And we left them there, alone at the side of the road (the "government official" stayed on the bus with us). We stopped another 5 minutes down the road and another two tribes had to exit the bus. I was lucky and got to ride the bus for the longest... my tribe got kicked off on the third and last stop. There we stood, in the dark, on the side of the road. Surrounded by forest. And all we had was each other (thankfully a few people had their flashlights on them) and an envelop with a map showing where our luggage was.

     We walked, jogged, walked, jogged, and finally got to the pile of luggage. There, in the dark still, we had to find our backpacks (we were given a very specific and limited packing list and each person had to fit it into a backpack) and sleeping bags. Eventually, we ended up at "customs". 

     A government official made us standing in a line and one by one, she looked at our passports and asked us our information. A couple of the guys got their birthday wrong, and so they were taken aside to be interrogated. After awhile, we all entered a large room where the customs lines were. I entered the shortest line, and when I arrived at the front, the "officer" told me that I was in the wrong line. She didn't tell me which line was the right one for me, but I chose the next shortest line. Which luckily turned out to be the right one!

     While I was standing in line, I was able to observe the corrupt government at work with the other students and the staff who were on the tribes. The corrupt government did not smile or treat anyone well. They interrogated many people, just took their stuff for no reason, and made them do ridiculous things. For example, the staff member on my tribe, Maya, had the last name of "Muchacha" on her passport, so they made her "dance the muchacha". And laughed at her. They made one tribe go down on their hands and knees and meow like cats to a melody, wagging their "tails". They made one line dance the chicken dance, and my line had to do jumping jacks. While the stuff that they made people do were fun and ridiculous, the fact is that in real life, many people are not treated as equal humans. 

     Eventually I got to the front of the line. The official working there dumped all my stuff out, confiscated my brush and toothpaste (the only toiletries that we had been permitted to pack) and then threw my stuff on the floor and told me to hurry up and put it back in my bag.

    While she was going through my stuff, one of the staff who I hang out with a lot, Kenzie, came over. I knew she planned on giving me a hard time, because... well, I'm me.... Anyway. So she picked up my passport and immediately lost it. She had to leave the room because she was laughing so hard. She even cried :P  And everyone kept commenting on my age.... four and a half months. Apparently I'm some sort of prodigy, considering I can talk and walk!

     So eventually my whole tribe got through customs and we were lead through the dark and mud into the depths of the woods. Our "campsite" was quite literally a small patch in between trees. Covered in brush that we had to cut down. We were provided with two tarps, a pack of matches, a pot, bowls, and forks, a knife, duct tape, and bug spray. Oh, and some rice and beans for our supper/breakfast/lunch. And about four squares of toilet paper.

     That first night was interesting. We were actually quite warm, because we were all squished up next to each other. Twelve people on a tarp, None of us got much sleep. Especially after a large frog jumped on someone's face and then crawled into their sleeping bag with them... lol

     In the morning, we cooked up our rice and beans and at some breakfast. Then, at the sound of the airhorn, we had to gather at the "government circle", where they made us do jumping jacks, push-ups (you should be impressed... I actually managed to do 10 push-ups!), and a dance off. After, the government piled into their jeep and made us line up single file behind it. "Keep up with us!" they said, and then drove off. We had to run to keep up. And meanwhile, they kept yelling at us to tell them how wonderful they are, and how much we love the government.

     I did WAY too much running over the past couple days....

     We had class in the morning, with our amazing speaker Troy Sherman. He taught us so much! I'll talk about that at another time. After class, we went back to our sites for lunch (my tribe didn't eat anything) and then we played some games. After the games, the government went back to being corrupt and gave us our food rations. And some more toilet paper, which was lovely!

     I got my rice and beans, and as I was walking past Kenzie's station at the rice (I had gotten mine before she joined her partner), she laughed and talked to me.

     "You're supposed to be corrupt!" I reminded her. My mistake.

     She decided to be corrupt. She took my food and gave it all to someone else, and then gave me about a mouthful of rice for my rations for the next 24 hours.

     Good thing I had a tribe of 11 others who got plenty! And besides, I don't blame her. I would have had SO much fun being the corrupt government!

     We went back to our sites for dinner, and this was when things went OFF schedule. The government came to our site to harass us. We were talking to them when our leader, Maya, had an asthma attack. She couldn't breathe. It was such a God-thing that Gabe and Kayli were there (they were the government) because we wouldn't have known what to do. Gabe stayed with Maya while Kayli ran for the jeep. Maya didn't want to leave us, insisting she was ok once she used her inhaler. But we all knew she wasn't okay. And she ended up in the hospital, so.... Don't worry, she's alright now. She rested and is still pretty weak, but she is in good spirits!

     About this time, it started to rain. And so our guys put up our second tarp over our heads into a nice shelter. JUST as they finished, the government came back. And told us that the forecast was for rain and strong winds, so it wasn't safe to stay outside all night. And we had pack up EVERYTHING and go back to the classroom base. Which we did. We and all our stuff were soaked and cold by the time we got there. Most everyone else had already arrived... accept for half of one tribe.

     Those five were lost in the woods for an hour and a half. In the dark and rain. They were pretty traumatized!

     The corrupt government nicely gave us chilli and found us indoor places to sleep. My tribe ended up in a garage, cold with a cement floor, but hey, we had a roof over our heads! I was actually colder that second night than the first, because a) we were not all snuggled together, and b) my sleeping bag was a bit damp.

     On Friday morning, Kevin, our DTS director, told us that we would finish up the day (class and an Amazing Race game) and then head for home once our bus driver arrived... he had to come from Madison and couldn't leave there until about 5.

     After all our activities were over and we were just hanging out waiting to go home, one of the guys picked up a guitar. And we ended up with a spontaneous worship session that lasted for about an hour and a half. It was so nice! We normally worship every morning, and I've missed it!

     The bus driver finally arrived at about 10, and we headed for home. We got back to the base at 2 in the morning. And about half the girls immediately showered. I did NOT... I like sleep. So I got up at 8:45 (I was the first one up) and showered.

     So that was my Survivor experience! It was fun and I learned a lot, and it was pretty intense at times (like customs and spending the night out in open. With half a million mosquitoes. Seriously, I've never seen that many in my life). I do wish I had been able to experience real Survivor though. On Thursday night, we were supposed to play a game of Capture the Flag, during which one girl from each tribe would be kidnapped and trafficked.  On Friday night, our sites were going to be raided at 2 or 3 in the morning, complete with fireworks, and we would have been forced to walk through a "mine field" and enter a "refugee camp". And then build a bridge in the morning. It would really have been an amazing learning experience!

     Was Survivor a complete fail because we didn't actually get to do most of the Survivor things? No. We still learned what it is like to be treated like dirt. We learned what it is like to sleep outside in the cold and dirt, with animals and bugs. We learned what it is like to have limited food. And we learned to work together as a team. 

This was my Survivor passport. Must be carried at all times.

 This is Kenzie and Rachel. We like to cuddle :)

 Some of my DTS family! We like to hang out in the hallway.

Today it was cold and rainy out, so we had a movie party. We all were watching on an ipad :P 

These are hanging up in our classroom. Before all of us students arrived, the staff were praying about us and our DTS. And these were the things that God spoke to them about our DTS: of pure heart, be still and know that I am God, Love one another, warrior heart, deep relationship, freedom, and break out. (in case you can't read them).

 When we went to Madison last Saturday, hanging out with our small groups, we saw this carriage thing. Amanda and I are two of the four Canadians, so we decided that we needed a 'Merica photo.

One of our pastimes here at the base. Indian leg wrestling. And no, I have not tried it. I prefer our OTHER pastime, a game called Mennonite Madness.

And finally.... cheese!! I have finally tried some true Wisconsin cheese! I bought my cheese curds at Walmart, but whatever. Its cheese. Its yummy. :)

     Blessings,

          Katie